Ushers No Pimp, Tom Cruise is an “Authority of the Mind”. Not!

Heidi-Ho folks Doc. B. here.
Well the police called, it seems they ‘ve found my car. In Philadelphia, abandoned. No sign of Antonio or Lance, and no sign of foul play either, say the police. Yet. Anyhow here’s the news.

But first…

“Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it”
“Lily Tomlin”


And The Couch Let Out A Sigh Of Relief

Tom Cruise appeared on Oprah and left without so much as a shoe print on the couch. Color me very disappointed. Still Oprah did grill him on the rumour that Nicole Kidman doesn’t see the brats..er, kids they adopted. Cruise dismissed the reports, telling Winfrey: “No, that’s ridiculous.” He also said
“We share custody. Whenever. Whenever. That’s when it is”.
Hmm..sounds a little defensive don’t it. Wonder if Kidman doesn’t see them because she never wanted them, Tom did. Tommy Too Much also talked about the leaked interview on the net about Scientology. He ominously said that he and other Scientologists were“authorities on the mind”. Riiight, nothing creepy or delusional about that. In his defense, the interview was not meant for public consumption. “It was a very private moment. I’m actually talking to my congregation,” Cruise explained
That’s right, and all that talk about aliens and mind control that’s private too. So let’s cut the Grand Chief of Nutbar Town a break , ok. It’s called freedom of religion folks, just cause I think it’s all very silly and of a dubious set of ideals and Dogma doesn’t mean it’s not legitimate.(snicker, chuckle, guffaw.)Pardon mean, … something stuck in my throat. Let’s move on shall we. Source Here


Baby Photo Scam Update; Usher Fights Back

Finally someone is too embarrassed to be making money off the current baby photo scam that some celebs are doing so they don’t have to work. The world needs more stand up guys like Usher, who pretty much calls out the celebs and their newest quick fix for cash so I can get a new yacht, or new tits, or sweet Moroccan hashish, or a new island, or a….well, you get the picture. He said “In no way would I ever pimp out my child for money." Good on ya man, I say. Men should stick to pimping out their wives and leave it at that. There has to be a line people, otherwise we’re no better than the monkeys. (They’re totally shameless, the furry little buggers.) In all seriousness folks, baby photo vending is a heinous and vile act, that affects more than half of all celebrity babies. However, there is way of preventing this unnecessary affliction with pro-active awareness campaigns, and education. But the best measure of prevention is your voice. So speak up and speak out! You can help stop the madness, and God willing, spare us another Dakota Fanning. Hurry, before it’s too late. Source Here


Faye Dunaway’s In A Bad Way

I think an intervention is in order soon, for Faye Dunaway. The Wackness director Jonathan Levine said "Faye freakin' Catwoman Dunaway [was] sitting right in front of us and acting like a crazy woman, raising her hand like Horshack on 'Welcome Back, Kotter' and wearing a fedora . . . She was also furiously taking notes." I’ve seen this before, I only hope that the intervention can be performed in time. When they start acting like Horshack folks, there ain’t much time. She’s in a bad way. If she starts speaking like JJ. from Good Times it’s all over but the crying. Listen to your cats Faye. They’re right, you need help. Be strong. Source Here


Who’s Cooking In The Kitchen With Kim

That cougar Kim Cattrall isn’t all that particular when it comes to dating. She said: “I'm limitless as far as age is concerned - as long as he has a driver's license. I don't want to pick him up!
Wow she really leaves the door wide open to drive right in, don’t she. Guess that means there’s a lot of 16yr old boys that can’t wait to pass their drivers exam, and slide up to the Porky’s star on the street driving Dads puke green colored Dodge Shadow, hoping she’s just as insatiable as she appears. Kim also addresses the rumours of her cooking in the kitchen au natural. She said “my boyfriend always puts a little oil in the pan and that can hurt.”
Hey wait a minute I thought we were talking about cooking not what lubricates he’s using. Then she say’s “I was in a grocery store over the weekend and someone slipped me an apron and said, ‘Just in case it might be true, here, protect yourself, girlfriend.’”
Now how is he supposed to put the oil in the pan if she’s wearing an apron? Geez, some people really need to get a clue. Source Here


Odd Jobs

Without spies there would be no news, so here’s what one the nosy bastards spotted. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard were both dressed in ski hats and sweats with big jackets, like they just woke up from a long winter's nap," said our spy. "They were dancing in the aisles and laughing, and oddly, buying packages of baby wipes.”
Nothing odd about that. If I have to tell you what the baby wipes are for, then you should be ashamed of yourself. They’re for wiping a baby’s ass, silly. Source Here


Shark Attacks Betty

Is the TV show Ugly Betty a celebrity image rehab destination or what? First Naomi Campbell was stunt cast, now comes Lilo.TV Guide reports Multiple Ugly sources confirm to me exclusively that the comeback-hungry actress is in advanced discussions to guest-star in the show's May 22 season finale, which is currently in production. It’s a sure sign a show is in trouble when they start stunt casting in hopes of big ratings. Yet, what is this shift in the biz to capitalize on celebs in damage-control mean? When a celeb appears on a TV show these days, I immediately google to see what salacious bit of news they’re trying mock, deny, apologize, or just plain avoid. When someone like Lindsay Lohan shows up on Ugly Betty it’s because she’s worried when the next paycheck comes, not where. Because movie producers have stopped calling and she’s become toxic. I think I’m going to call it folks. Ugly Betty has officially jumped the shark. It’s all over, but for the crying. Source Here


Lilo’s Lobbying For Alcohol?

All Lilo, all the time folks. Her mug shots being used in an ad paid for by the American Beverage Institute, a trade group that supports the interests of the alcohol industry. The ad says "ignition interlocks are a good idea for" Lohan, "but a bad idea for us." You know you’ve made it folks, when the American Beverage Institute, is using your photo to peddle alcohol. Congratulations kid, you deserve it. You’re on top of the world baby! You’re not famous, you’re infamous. They can never take that away from you. Source Here


That’s all folks, I gotta make some calls, see what the going rate on bounty hunters is these days.

Doc B. Gone baby gone.