Stripper names, Heinz 57, Mac vs. PC, and Jessica Alba, tonight on BubbaHump.

Heidi Ho folks Doc B. here.

I'm in a bit of a hurry, trying to catch a connecting flight, so I'll get to wit. Here's the news.

But first

"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.”
“Mitch Hedberg”

Jessica Alba is one smart woman.

I guess we'll file this under blondes have more fun. Jessica Alba tells Cosmopolitan magazine what it was like being blonde.“When I went blonde for Sin City three years ago, I swear I’ve never had more male attention.
“I’d go to a bar and all these Arab Princes and much older men would want to buy me a drink – I’m talking guys in their 80s!”
Humph... well it seems pretty obvious to me, these men believe that blondes are easy. Reminds me of a good joke: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
Because red means stop. Did you hear this one. Why is a blonde like a door knob?
Because everybody gets a turn. Or. What's the mating call of the blonde?
"I'm *sooo* drunk!" And have you heard this one. What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
"I said: I'm drunk!"
Jessica being a smart girl wisely went back to her natural color. Source Here


Chick magnet

Matthew McConaughey's model girlfriend Camila Alves gave birth to a baby boy reports OK magazine "Camila and I were side by side the entire time," McConaughey told the magazine. "We are both tired and elated, and are so happy to have created the greatest miracle in the world - having a child and making a family." He also added, I can't wait until he's old enough to play the bongo drums naked in our living room, I'm really looking forward to that, and picking up hotties when I'm pushing his stroller down the beach. Babies are like chick magnets dude! Source Here


Hi, I'm a Mac, and I'm lonely.

It's all over for Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. The sickeningly, nauseating, cute couple have apparently ended their relationship. Said a spokesperson for Barrymore,"I can confirm the split with no additional comment,".
Over in the Valley, PC pumped his fist and let out a "Hell Yeah!" Source Here


Stripper names

Nicole Kidman and her hubby Keith Urban welcomed a new baby girl on Monday. The newborn weighed 6 pounds in 7 1/2 ounces and has been named... wait for it,-- Sunday Rose.
Hmmm... I think I knew a stripper named Sunday rose… no, wait I think her name was Sunny Blows. But I digress, Sunday rose is still better than the one Nicole was considering. Portable Wireless Personality Enhancer. The kid got off lucky. Source Here



Heinz 57

This silly headline caught my eye. "Jada Pinkett Smith Hires Dog Whisperer: Her pooch was killed by a snake".Humph… Dog Whisperer eh! Betcha 5 bucks this all relates back to his mother. Source Here


That's all folks I gotta go catch a plane. Destination, Evora.

Doc B. Gone baby gone

Mini Me’s ex strikes a low blow/ Will Smith’s freaky- deaky fetish.

Heidi Ho folks Doc B. here.

Well we finally got the Bubbles situation under control, Antonio has shipped her off to Africa in a crate marked, medical supplies. We've been running around for days trying to hash out all the paperwork and details. But it's all over now, I can finally get back to my life. I'll be back at work tomorrow, and I have to go out of town, the country actually. I'm flying to Europe to meet up with my boss and his new life partner Pierre to go over some things. The blog might function intermittently while I'm in the air, and traveling. But I'll do my best to keep it updated. Here's the news.

But first…

"There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”
"Chris Rock"


Chill,.. You Betcha.

Will Smith knows how to keep the spice in his marriage it would seem. He says,“I took the suit home and my wife and I use it sometimes. Just around the house. It’s great.” Yeah it's great for when you're taking out the trash, or killing a really nasty, ugly spider. I had a girlfriend once that bought me a superhero costume to wear. Unfortunately it was the costume from "The Greatest American Hero", she said it was the only one that suited my build. (?) Will Smith sure seems like a normal guy, but you never can tell, can you? In an interview with BBC radio one he mentioned something that made me a little suspicious of him, he said,. “Madonna is in really good shape. I actually get a sexy chill every time I think about Madonna.” Hmmm... I get a chill every time I think about Madonna too, but it's not what you would call a sexy chill. Far from it in fact. No I would say when I get a chill when I think about Madonna, it is more akin to the one I got when I saw my grandmother squeezed into a bathing suit that she had not worn since before my mother had gone off to college. It gave me a chill right down my spine, all that leathery, pale, saggy skin poking out everywhere... it was horrible. Brrrr… let's move on shall we. Source Here


It's Now Or Never

This headline caught my attention, "ABBA members to attend film screening". At last, together again. "The four will be attending the screening of the Hollywood version of the Abba hit musical starring Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan ". At last, the four of them together in one room. This is our chance to take them out.
Huh, what for you ask? Crimes against humanity of course, this is our chance for revenge. (Pause). Yeah, you're right. It would be wrong. But a fella can dream can't he. Source Here


A-Rod Sneezed And Gave Himself An Enema

That Madonna seeing Alex Rodriguez story doesn't seem like it's going to go away anytime soon. If you don't know, A -Rod has been spotted the last couple weeks visiting Madonna's pad, taking the secret back elevator up . Some rumors say the elevator gets off in Madonna's bedroom. How convenient . Hmmm... I wonder if you have to take a number, or if you have to call in advance to get a reservation. Anyhow, A -Rod's wife Cynthia (who's staying at Lenny Kravitz's pad?!) Has supposedly revealed to a friend that she found a letter A -Rod wrote to Madonna which apparently said , "You're my soulmate." The friend also revealed that, "Cynthia, who now plans to divorce the New York Yankees star, added: "I believe he was having an affair with Madonna." The friend said: "This all started with Kabbalah.
"Alex told Cynthia that he'd discovered that he'd been looking for his soulmate. And now, he said, he'd found her." Humph… if Alex thinks he's found his true soulmate in Madonna, (whom one could describe as a half American loudmouth slut/snooty, trashy, loose English tart) then it's a wonder he hasn't suffocated yet, what with his head so far up his ass. Of course representatives for Madonna deny all this, saying that the baseball star and the pop singer share the same manager and that's all. I doubt this however, especially after reading this. Cynthia said, "I feel like Madonna's using mind control over him. I don't recognise the man he's become.
"He was a sweet, beautiful, loving husband and father. Today he's very cold and calculating." Uh-huh... cold and calculating eh. That sounds like someone whose been in contact with a Madonna, doesn't it? Hmmm... soulmates indeed. Source Here


How Low Can You Go?

And in the continuing wacky adventures of that vertically challenged little man, Verne Troyer, his ex-girlfriend confesses their bedroom secrets.Ranae Shrider reveals that "I never imagined one day I'd date a man who barely came up to my kneecaps.
"But as soon as I met Verne I was so captivated by his personality, his size didn't seem to matter.
"I liked him so much I even gave up wearing high heels for six months." Humph... if she really had been serious about him, she would have gotten her legs amputated below the knee to the ankle, and have her feet attached to the nubs . Not wearing high heels isn't much of a sacrifice if you ask me. She goes on to belittle him some more saying, "anything but the traditional missionary position was just impossible.
"So I'd lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees!" (awkward pause.) Brrr... she makes it sound like he's some kind of insect . But still, she doesn't stop there."It was strange having sex with someone who couldn't reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over." Jeez it's enough to make the poor guy feel insecure, and inadequate, don't you think? I'm sure most men would. So if he wasn't feeling that way already after that, then this surely could not have helped. "He didn't wear a condom. There was no point, they're all too big". OUCH! Snap! Oh you did not just go there.
Hmmm... hypothetically speaking, I think if he killed her, no jury would convict him. Source Here


I Need A Hat, Size - F***Ing Enormous

Hmmm... rapper Jay- Z. must wear a huge f***ing hat, because his head is awfully swollen. It seems the rapper was not pleased with a review he received in the Sun.co.uk., and he told the person in question who wrote it what was on his mind." You were the only one who gave me a bad review. Everyone else said it was history.
“I’m not one of those guys who gets cut up about good or bad reviews but you missed the moment, man.
“It was a first for Glastonbury and you didn’t get it. You’re a non-believer. I was making history and you missed the moment.”
Hmmm... I guess I've missed a lot of those moments too, because for the life of me , I don't get Jay- Z. Sorry, but I think most of his crap is shit . Or is it, his shit is crap. Well, whatever it is, it stinks. I guess that makes me a nonbeliever too. It's my guess that he shops for hats at Egomaniacs and Actors R Us. Source Here


Still Wet

Still no babies, and still no bladder control. Angelina Jolie still hasn't popped out those twins, so we're all still officially on standby folks. I'll make a pot of coffee and stay on it.

Well that's all there is folks, I gotta go. I need to get my prescription filled before I fly. You could say I'm a white knuckle flyer, but most people say I go f**king bananas.

Doc B. Gone baby gone.