Is Cameron Diaz A Dog, Eminem To Perform At Birthday Party

Heidi-Ho folks Doc. B. Here,

Well, the house looks completely different than when I left it. Antonio’s ex-wife has moved everything around while she stay’s. It would seem that she never divorced legally from Antonio and is here to try to reconcile, which would be fine if Antonio was actually here. He got wind she was in town, and he’s pulled a Houdini. She doesn’t believe a word I tell her, and she starts throwing stuff and climbing the walls whenever I suggest a nice hotel. She’s so obtuse! It’s sometimes hard to believe we evolved from this irrational and emotional species. In the meantime (A great song by “Helmut” by the way) Bruce is scouring the dives and strip clubs to see where Antonio is hiding. I hope he finds him soon. It’s hard to concentrate or relax, this place is like a jungle. Not much in the news, (really, it’s the lint between your ass crack as stories go today) but here go’s.

But first…

"Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it."
“Robert Heinlein”


The Bitch Is Back

Gerald Butler seems worried we’ll find out his little secret. His talked about his squeeze Cameron Diaz and his dog, and let a Freudian slip, slip. comparing his recent night out with Diaz to walking a four-legged creature. "If I was out walking my dog, you would say I'm [bleep]ing my dog” he said. Well Gerald, it would depend .Is your dog walking funny. Hmmm. Cameron should watch out for this bitch. http://www.tmz.com/


HUH

I saw this rather strange headline, and it gave me pause.
Eminem to perform for Mandela's 90th birthday bash
Mandela will be thrilled… big fan. Big, big fan. Rumour has it his staff calls him shady in private.


Sit, Boy, Sit, Good Boy

Look at this. An actor who knows his place in the world. Listen to what Neil Patrick Harris said.
"My job description is to act," his statement said, "and I should really do just that." That’s right monkey boy, just shut up, and dance when we tell you to. Good, that’s a good monkey boy. Lay down. Source Here


Matchbox 20 Sticks

Matchbox 20 has a problem with rodeo’s so they’re going to act like jerks.
Lead singer Rob Thomas confirms that the band is pulling out of its July 18 show at Cheyenne Frontier Days, which bills itself as the world's biggest outdoor rodeo. A statement from the band asks fans to understand that it would be impossible for them to put themselves in the position of making money from what it believes to be the mistreatment of animals.
The Grammy-winning band is still scheduled to perform this summer at the North Dakota State Fair, which includes rodeo events.
Now, why the hell would you book these outdoor shows in the first place if you feel that way. It seems to me they could have raised awareness to the problem (if there is one) had they actually performed. This is just another case of a group of musicians’ bandwagon hopping onto a hot button issue. There is nothing worse than bandwagon hoppers. They smell (phwew). Source Here


Tom Cruise The Nazi

Tom Cruises stars as a Nazi (I can see that) trying to kill Adolph Hitler, in his next movie "Valkyrie", there were lots of rumors going around that test audiences were giggling while watching Tom's performance (Never a good sign for a dramatic film) The film which was supposed to open last June, then around Halloween, has now been pushed back until sometime in 2009. Hmmm, his last film flopped (Lions for Lambs), they're naming medical marijuana after him, and his wife is slowly starting to remind me of Mia Farrow when she was with Frank Sinatra.
I guess all he has going for him is his relentless drive to succeed. Someday all the tumblers will fall into place, and the stars will align, and Cruise and his half alien child will rise to power, taking control over existing nations as they help engineer the earth's takeover by 7ft tall space aliens who will enslave the human race and bestow upon Cruise the knowledge to achieve the final stage of power granted by scientology. Then we will all be at his mercy (watch out Brooke Shields!) Then Tom will have the last laugh (a long maniacal one) as he rules with an iron fist. (what too much…. Sorry) Source Here


Ice In Da House

Vanilla Ice has been arrested and released after domestic battery charges involving his wife. There you go folks, that's most likely the only time you're going hear Ice's name this year. Thanks for letting us know you're still alive Ice-baby, keep the faith bro, chill, and go make it rain in da club. Peace out. Source Here


Matthew Perry Need A Job

Do you wonder what Matthew Perry is up to? Not too much really, although the mirror reports that he's using a dating site called "richsoulmate.com". On it he describes himself as "cute and adorable, though pained and lonely" He also goes on to say that he really misses his friends, the million dollars an episode, the must see Thursdays. He says his pain is really deep, so deep he feels it in his ass. Also he says he's lonely because nobody really understands him, and that he has needs. Sometimes, all he really needs is a hug, maybe some flowers, or chocolates as a surprise. It doesn't have to be expensive (preferably) because it’s the thought that counts. It's embarrassing to see this guy sink so low, so fast.
Source Here


Well that’s all folks. I gotta go get Lucinda off the ceiling fan before she breaks it.
Doc. B., gone baby, gone.

Lilo To Appear Naked (Again) Travolta: Little Mermaid’s #1 Fan

Heidi-Ho folks Doc. B. Here,

First Madonna, and now Gwyneth Paltrow are blaming the media for Britney’s woes. You know what, I think they’re right. So, here goes. Leave Britney Alone. There, you girls happy now, I fixed everything. It’s the playoff’s so this will be short,(Go Habs Go) heres the news.

But first…

“You can observe a lot by watching”
“Yogi Berra”


Lilo Is Part Of A New Generation

Lindsay Lohan is all set to appear fully nude in a low budget film called “Florence”. The role is said to pay $75 000. Apparently, a topless scene would have been sufficient but Lilo wanted to go all the way. I’ve got to say I applaud Lindsay for this strategy. Appear nude, whenever, wherever. It’s a plan that’s as old as the pyramids. Still, if she goes full frontal, how much more exposed can she go before people become bored by it all. Therefore, I’m making a prediction, Lindsay will become the first Hollywood mainstream actress to perform an x-rated sex scene in a movie. I don’t know why, just call it a gut feeling. It just seems like Lindsay is going to continue to push the envelope. She’s a daring little minx, and I have full confidence in her. She will break down the barriers restricting this new breed of starlets. Those who are comfortable enough to let a camera in the bedroom, and will continue to do so on the big screen, keep up the good work Lindsay, you have my full support, and better still, my full attention. Source Here


Travolta Is Way, Way Into It

John Travolta was spotted with his daughter at a show on 46th. St. John was really into it apparently, singing along to all the tunes. He was said to amazed at the elaborate and bright costumes. What’s the show you say? Why “The Little Mermaid” of couse. A spy backstage said Travolta told them that “he was way way into into the show” Other stuff that John is into; “the Rocky Horror Picture Show”. The musical “Cats”, Air Supply, red roses, Joan Crawford, the Barbara Streisand film “Yentl”, bubble baths long walks and shopping… … Oh yeah, and leather assless chaps, you know, for when you’re doing house work (what did you think they were for, you dirty pig, you). Source Here


Whitney’s Wild + Wacky Boudoir Secrets

Seem’s Whitney Houston’ going out with Kim Kardashian’s ex, Ray J. You remember him right. The Kim and Ray J show uncut + x-rated, that Ray J leaked online. It seems Ray J also has a CD out in which he seems to take pot shots at that jerk Bobby Brown. "Is that your wife, is that your shorty, well I'm her boyfriend . . . I think the problem is you don't beat it right . . . Making love is cool, just pull her hair sometimes." Hmmm, seems like a cocky son of a bitch, doesn’t he? I’m not sure Whitney wants her family to know these little bedroom details though. That must be uncomfortable at the dinner table huh! Mommy, what does he mean “beat it hard”? (Gulp) Mommy, if Ray J likes you, why is he pulling your hair (Gulp, Gulp). Besides uncomfortable questions, Whitney should start scouring the bedroom to find the camera because Ray J doesn’t seem to have a great deal of scruples. Source Here

Well I gotta go paint my car the red, white and blue of the Montreal Canadians

Doc. B. Gone baby, gone.

Lilo's Lawsuit Woes, Go Hab's Go!

Heidi-Ho folks, Doc. B. here,

I didn’t have time to look for a new fish today because my socks were wet. (They’re my last pair) I watched “Idol Gives Back”, and it looks like Robin Williams has finally run out of funny material. Terri Hatcher can sing! (Not great, but not bad) Billy Crystal really is starting to look like Jack Benny, and Miley Cyrus still makes me ill. Here’s some news.

Bust first…

“I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.”
“Groucho Marx”


Ahhh… Memories Of Showgirls

Kyle Maclacklan, a fine actor who has appeared in such films as “Blue Velvet”, “Dune” and “The Hidden” (one of my favourites) is preparing to have a baby. Some how, baby talk, leads to the camp classic “Showgirls”. Anyways, Kyle defends his reason for doing the film this way “I was young, at my physical peak, and nobody died”. Well hold on a minute, people have died, they just haven’t been reported as death by “Showgirls”. Honestly, Kyle should be proud of the film. It’s an accurate and truthful examination of the life. And, and it has the most awesome, wet-n-wild, sexsplash, boffing scene in mainstream film history. Put it in the vault Kyle, and lock it up until such a time comes when you want to show your son just what the old man was capable of. Think of the laff’s and precious moment you and your son will share as you slow the picture to a crawl, so you can count 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi as the water drips every so slowly down Elizabeth Berkeley’s breast. Ahhh… Just thinking of it puts a smile on your face doesn’t it. Huh… what if he has a girl? Hmmm…. Then I guess he has some “splaining to do”. Source Here


Pam’s Birthday suit Gift To Hef

Hugh Hefner turned 82. Can you believe it. This lucky bastard has had it all, with whomever ,whenever,for most of his adult life. Yeah I know, it sucks rocks doesn’t it. Of course Hef celebrated at the Playboy Manson with all his lovely bubbly, bouncy lady friends. (lucky bastard) To top it all off, Pamela Anderson delievered the birthday cake in her high heels (I know lucky bastard, you’re thinking) Really, talk about a charmed life. We all say we’d like to die while having sex, but the odds-makers in Vegas must have Hef high on top of the list. No doubt followed by Charlie Sheen, Bill Clinton (if Hilary catches him, he’ll be dead) and Weird Al Yankovic (seriously, he gets all kinda of tail) I once got a birthday cake delivered by a naked woman. Unfortunately, it was my great grandmother, she was drunk on scotch, and inadvertently put out my candles because she was carrying the cake just above her waist. It was extremely awkward explaining to the doctor how the candle wax got on her breasts (he didn’t believe me) To this day, I wake up screaming. Source Here


Depp’s , I Do

Sorry girls, Johnny Depp’s getting married. You will all have to obsess over a married man soon. Aren’t you ashamed of yourselves. Whaddaya mean that just makes him hotter. Humph, real men like Weird Al just don’t get the love these faux bad boys do. I’m not kidding! If you saw Weird Al step out of the shower, your jaw would hit the floor before your panties do. How do I know? Wouldn’t you like to know. It was just a phase in college. Everyone does it. Source Here


Lilo’s Lawsuit Woe’s

Lindsay Lohan is being sued by a former bodyguard who claims she owes him money for about 5 months work. David Kim who’s duties included protecting Lohan from fans and the paparazzi, accompanying her to industry events and obtaining VIP tables at clubs and concerts. No truth to the matter that he held the back of her head up so she could service her ex, Callum Best. Hmmm… I would have to check the tape again… Nope, don’t see his hand. What a liar. He should shut up, and just be thankful he was able to stand near Lilo’s flame before it’s extinguished. Source Here


Well that’s all. I gotta go check my hockey pool. Hmmm… Lets see, Penguins win, Senators are toast anyways. Ranger win the 1st game in the start of a long series. And tomorrow my beloved Canadians’ play their first game against Boston. Nothing left to say but. GO HABS GO!

Doc. B. Gone baby, gone.

Priest Stalks Conan: What’s The Punch Line?

Heidi-Ho folks, Doc. B. here,

He couldn't take the guilt any longer. Luis, my cat, has confessed to the murder of Pedro the fish. Antonio the chimp, as acting judge in this case has gone to Hooters to reflect upon what, if any sentence, is to be handed down. Finally some sense of normalcy has returned to the house. Tomorrow, I'm going to look for a new fish and put this little episode behind me. Here's the news.

But first…

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
“Groucho Marx”


Good To Be Famous Part VIII

It's nice to see justice served. Mischa Barton, who was arrested on DUI charges, driving without a license, and possession of marijuana, has only to serve 3 yrs probation, and pay a fine. The pot charge was dropped, and the driver's license charge reduced to a misdemeanour. Hmmm, I think, if I got pulled over, for all of the above, the long arm of the law would still be pulling its fist out of my ass. It's good to be famous some times. Source Here


The New Kids On The Block: Less Hair, More Weight

Guess what, the "New Kids On The Block" are keeping their name. Yes,, the newly reformed group will keep the moniker. I guess the new names they tried out didn't stick. Among them, it was rumoured, were "Male Pattern Baldness Guys", "Strange Men On The Street", "Guys Your Mom Warned You About", "New Kids Older and Wiser", "New Bills To Pay", and "Out Of Work.As a matter of fact, Jonathan even admits to needing some new cash influx
"Real estate's going awful," added Jonathan of his new career. "You can't sell anything these days." That's a solid foundation to build on. I can't wait to see what demographic shows up to watch this inspired bunch perform. Source Here


Stalker Priest to Conan: Tickle Me

Conan O'Brien's stalker is a man of the cloth. No, really he's a priest. I know, I know. I'm just as shocked as you are. Still, the story seems legit, and the police have letters this "Padre" sent to Conan, in them it said "Is this the way you treat your most dangerous fans?" I'm sure when he said dangerous, he meant that Conan's eternal soul could be jeopardy with sacrilegious skit's like the masturbating bear. I'm sure he wasn't being literal. There's more,
"want a public confession before I ever consider giving you absolution -- or a spot on your couch," wrote Ajemian, who signed the notes "Padre". Hmm .. now he seems a little confused. Poor soul.

There was also talk of another letter that went on to say that the Padre wanted to give Conan a wee tickle and a little peck on the noggin. That together, they would enter the year 2000 (??) as companions for life. The Padre, and his tall ,red haired choir boy who has descended from the heavens, to give me sponge baths and rub my feet. This rumored letter was proven unfounded, and nonexistent.

Well, at least we can count on the church to do the right thing and bar him from the priesthood right.

The Boston Archdiocese said in a statement that Ajemian had been placed on leave and was no longer allowed to minister publicly. Oh crap, they'll probably send him to a mission in Africa taking care of orphans, considering the church's track record in these matters. That's it, I'm tearing up my membership card. Source Here


Terror In The Skies

How can this happen?
LONDON -- Supermodel Naomi Campbell has been banned from flying with British Airways after she was escorted off a flight last week and arrested on suspicion of assaulting a police officer, media reports said on Tuesday. Source Here
What gives them the right to do this? She’s a paying customer, who’s luggage was lost. How is she at fault here. Well, Naomi doesn’t need them, there’s other airlines she can travel on. Airlines that will be more than happy to accommodate Ms. Campbell, and any alleged vitriol, assault, spitting, scratching or whatever else may occur due to the ineptitude of the airline, or its employees, or innocent passengers who happen to get in the way of Naomi having a glitch free travel. She’s earned it dammit.

Well that’s it, I gotta go now… What’s that Bruce? Who’s at the door? Antonio’s Ex-wife Lucinda! Ah Hell.

Doc. B. Gone baby, gone.

Save Dane Cooks Dog, Chinese Coupons

Happy Monday folks,

Doc. B. here,

And I’m not in a good mood. I received a summons to testify in Luis, the cat’s trial. I don’t have time for this circus. So I tried to leave, and now my chimp Antonio has gotten a couple of gorillas (literally) he knows to stand watch outside my room. I’ve been confined to my quarters until such a time, as the trial unfolds. This sucks! F%$?ing pets. I should have stayed married. Here’s what I could dig up today pardon the B-list and C-list celebs.

But first…

“In all matter of, our adversaries are insane”
“Oscar Wilde”


Mariah Carey’s One Of Us

I try, I really do. I try to take these celebrities seriously sometimes, but there are some that should have to pass a basic Q and A comprehension exam. Mariah Carey apparently wants us all to know, that she is no different than the rest of us "I sit in hotel rooms with a bunch of humidifiers watching pay-per-view."(Source here)
Yup, that about sums up my weekend right there. Except for the posh suite at the hotel, of course. And the humidifiers. What’s the humidifiers for. To help her throat? To slow the aging process? To liquify her brain perhaps. Yup she’s a lot like I am. And you as well, I’m sure. C’mon, you’re reading this right now, with the TV playing, and the humidifiers going, right? No? what’s that? You’re at work you say. You don’t have a time to watch TV, you say, because you work hard. You can’t afford luxury hotels because you’re maxed out, you say. I’m sorry, my mistake. Hmmm… I guess Mariah and I really are better than other people. Sorry, did I say better. I meant different.


Dane Cooks Dog Needs Your Help

The stories about Dane Cook keep piling up like… well, like dog shit to be honest. First his fellow comics accuse him of ripping off theirs jokes ( I heard him in Montreal with a routine that was very similar to another comic from the fest the year before) the next gripes about this guy were that he was making outrageous demands while filming commercials for the world series on TBS. His behavior was described as Diva-like. Now comes word that Dane’s neighbors want to bring him to court because he doesn’t pick up after his dog. Dane lives in an apartment complex in Hollywood. Apparently, some flack for Dane suggested they would fight this all the way. Man this guy sounds like a real jerk. The prick will probably drag this on in court forcing his neighbors to shell out for legal fees, while he makes a film here and there, ripping off other comics material, laughing at his neighbors as he trots his dog out to poop on their premises. And who suffers in all this. The poor dog, that’s who.

As the neighborhood fumes over Danes actions, his helpless dog becomes more, and more ostracized. While Dane’s off cavorting around, acting the fool, his dog is denied the simple interaction with others that every living soul needs and desires. Now, when his dog approaches another dog to say hello, (i.e.: sniff it’s ass) he is denied interaction, not for his sins, but the sins of his master. It is not the pet who chooses the area, in which he is expected to conduct his business (i.e.: take a shit) Dane Cook is the owner, thus the legal guardian assigned to look after the animal (i.e.: the dog). Certainly it’s his job to make sure the animal (i.e.: his dog) can relieve himself, and do so without feeling the shame and humiliation of being singled out as a loner, who does not conform to the standards of the community, because he has a master who does not take responsibility of properly disposing the animals (i.e.: the dog) waste. (i.e.: the dog shit). This is exactly the kind of stress that can lead the animal (i.e.: the dog) to wild behavioral problems. Some are easily detected, like when the animal openly weeps (depression), when the animal starts acting aggressively, (the Naomi Campbell Syndrome) and when the animal (i.e.: the dog) starts acting so completely bat shit, that one cannot predict what it will do next (Britney Spears Affliction). Except by then it is usually too late.

Fortunately, there is still time to save this animal. (i.e.: the dog) And you can do your part, by sending just one penny a month to the Doctor Bubbahump save the Animals From The Thoughtless, Vacant, Egotistical Celebrities Foundation, has rescued many, many, helpless pets escape the ordeal they are living with, because their owners are careless media whores. For example, just last week we were able to save a tabby cat from the guy who played Daryl on the “Newhart” show. (No, not him, the other Daryl) the cat was being forced against its will to perform de-humanizing acts, to please members of his owner’s theatre group. (Fluffy pink balls with little gold bells were involved) These animals can be saved, with your help. For one penny a month, you can change a life, won’t you help. Listen to the animals. Listen to them talk…. Hear that. They said “Get me the f#@k outta here” (real story here)


The Real Big Guns

TLC is going to have their own reality singing competition, so they’ve hired some big guns to help them make a splash in the ratings. I know, I know… You’re thinking Bono maybe, or perhaps Gwen Steffani. Nope, you’d be wrong. They’ve hired as host (Drumroll…) Mel B and Joey Fatone. Hey, where are you going? I saw your eyes drifting down to the column below about Carmeron Diaz. What’s wrong with Mel B and Joey Fatone. Where’s the love people, where’s the love? Mel B was in, only the biggest girl group to come out of Britain, and Joey was in….in… in. You know that band. The band with all the other guys. The band with all the other guys who were cuter than him. And more talented than him. You know what, I can’t remember either. Let’s move on to the story below about Cameron Diaz. Source Here


Cameron Diaz Loves “300”

Rumors abound (they do that sometimes) that Cameron Diaz (yeehaw) is seeing that guy from “300”, Gerald Butter (Boo, hiss) Nothing in concrete yet, (athough my bookie has nice pair of boots with my name on them) but where there’s smoke, there’s someone sneaking a cigarette before break. I keep you informed. Source Here


Burt Reynolds Is The Invisible Man

Burt Reynolds reveals the wise, (if you don’t know him, you should) and sage advice he received from acting legend Spencer Tracy (repeat message in Parentheses above) When Spence asked the Burt, what he did for a living, the Burt replied “I act”, To which Spence responded with “well, don’t let them catch you at it” Wow, talk about great advice. Except, I think Burt has taken it a step too far, be cause I haven’t seen him in Jack-shit lately. Is he playing the invisible man? Harry Lime? D.B. Cooper maybe? I don’t know, but he’s not on my radar right now. Oh shit! I had my radar set on destroy. I hope I didn’t vaporize Burt Reynolds. I never should have bought this Chinese radar equipment, but I couldn’t pass up a good deal.

The Chinese government was having a red tag sale because they’re overstocked with these military radars. They were going to use them to weed out dissidents during the Olympics. However their relocation program for dissidents is ahead of schedule thanks to an out line from some German book published way back. Therefore, ahead of schedule= red tag sales. That way I’m happy, the Chinese government is happy, and the dissidents (i.e.: the people of China) are happy. What’s that? Not so fast you say. Hey folks, don’t hate the player. Hmmm, maybe now the time to get involved. To raise my voice, to stand and be counted, to be a good world citizen. OMG! Is that Ryan Seacrest hanging out with Sophie Monk? (What?? I’ll save the world later, promise.)Source Here

You’re Kidding, Ryan Seacrest?

As written above, there are whispers (they abound, as well) that Ryan and Sophie Monk have hooked up. No, I’m not kidding. Yes “that” Ryan Seacrest. I know, I know. I don’t get it either. I could have sworn that he would like somebody from the same team. I don’t know what Sophie’s thinking though. Maybe she needs glasses. Source Here

Well I gotta go meet Bjork at the BurgerKing. We are going to a “Free Tibet” rally. I hope I can score one of those cool looking orange robes, they’re hot.

Be Aware or Be Square

Doc. B. Gone, baby gone.

Keanu Says Whoa, Clay Aiken: Living Legend

Heidi-Ho folks,

Doc. B. Here. It’s the Sabbath, so all is quiet in the house. Too quiet. The animals can’t speak to each other, so I’ve had a fairly peaceful day. So without further ado, here’s what’s cooking.


But first…

“Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.”
“Groucho Marx”


Jessica Got A Tuna

Looks like a football isn’t the only thing Dallas QB Tony Romo fumbles.

ROMO ducked behind the line of scrimmage and let girlfriend JESSICA SIMPSON pick up a whopping $3,000-plus tab at LA club Villa for him and 10 other freeloaders - who never once offered to kick in! "It was disgusting - no one even lifted a finger or asked to see the bill," said My Spywitness. "When Jess saw no one was going to pony up, she finally took out her wallet." Source Here

Poor Jessica. It would seem chivalry is truly dead. Hmmph, this Romo jerk could afford to buy the restaurant with one game-day paycheck. To think the city of Dallas blames her when she attends games, for the mishaps this jackass causes on the football field. The lovely + beautiful Jessica Simpson should dump this clod like a bowel movement after drinking Mexican tap water. This guy’s not “chicken of the the sea” worthy.He’s no tuna.

Beyoncé and Jay-z Soon To Be Rich

I Told you they would marry, see…

According to People.com, the small ceremony preceded Friday night's intimate reception at the groom's Tribeca loft, attended by her parents, Tina and Mathew, sis Solange, musical mates Kelly Rowlands, Michelle Williams and Beyoncé's pal Gwyneth Paltrow. Source Here

But there are whispers my friends. Was it a shotgun wedding?

Rumors about a possible pregnancy are starting to swirl. And, in retrospect, Beyoncé has recently been dressing the way celebs do when they're trying to disguise a beginner baby bump.

It’s true, she was spotted wearing a T-shirt that read

“Absolutly nothing in here”
with an arrow pointing to her tummy. However one of my Humpspies saw her wearing a T-shirt that read

“In 9 months this little bugger is gonna make me 20 mil richer!”

This is clearly another of those baby scams. This has to stop people. Celebs have to be famous for more than just making babies right? Right?? Hmmm, never mind!

Simon’s Generosity

Nasty Simon Cowell could be such a charmer.
The music mogul certainly knows how to keep his number one star Leona Lewis happy - he got her a beautiful charm bracelet for her birthday Source Here

Well that’s a lot better than what Simon sent Clay Aiken on his B’day. Ear plugs and a dark veil. I wonder what he meant by that. Hmmm…


Ladies And Gentlemen, The One, The Only, The Living Legend.

Speaking of Clay Aiken, his new album coming cut soon and this is what he told USA Today
Musically, he promises the new album has "a little bit of something for everyone, from symphonic-type ballads to upbeat, edgy stuff." Source Here

He goes on to say he’d like to emulate the edgy sound that Adam Ant guy is doing. I love his outfits, he also say’s. When asked who he wants to win on Idol this year, he cryptically replied. That they’re not his type. He also wrote one song on the album and someday hopes to write a song as deep and as trendy as Barry Manilow’s “Cocacabana”. Humph… Who wouldn’t?


Paula’s Sleeping With Dustin Hoffan??

Speaking of Idol, here’s a bit of gossip I got from the everlasting Mike Walker.

Fox still takes great pains to strictly segregate contestants from the judges – especially Paula. And since the scandal, “Idol” security staff use a code word for Ms. Cougar – but not to her face, of course, so she’s never heard it before. ARE YOU READY, PAULA? It’s…(oh, I love this!)…MRS. ROBINSON! (Coo-Coo-Ca-CHOO, babe!) Source Here

Mike! Behave! That sounded absolutely catty. Mike still got it though folks. Ms. Cougar, “Coo-Coo-Ca-Choo” Classic. Mike’s way more classy than I am. There’s no denying perfection, and Mike Walker is perfection personified.


Whoa

Someone asked Keanu Reeves about about a rumour of another “Bill and Ted” movie, this is his reply.

Keanu Reeves confirmed that any hope of a Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure reunion is just that — hope. "If there is [plans for a sequel], I'm not there” Source Here

Whoa, dude, … That’s like, so cold-blooded the way you shot that dream down in flames. This is totally the opposite of “awesome”, which is, like… like… sucks, you know. Dude, you’ve really bummed me out. You know what my faithful readers, I think it’s a good thing that Keanu won’t do another one. It would be downright sad to see a fortyish year old man talking like that.


JOKE BREAK

I noticed a list of killer jokes at the NYPost I listed a few I liked below, otherwise click here and check out the whole list for yourself.

Jeffrey Ross
John McCain is so old that running for President is on his bucket list


Bill Maher
Barack Obama bowled a 37. Is he black enough for you now


Robert Duchaine
Almost all serial killers are men. That's 'cause women like to kill one
man slowly over many, many years.


George Carlin
Why do they put alcohol on the arm of a death row inmate before they give him the needle? Are they afraid he might get an infection


David Brenner
Gasoline prices are highest in Hawaii, closing in on $4 a gallon. President Bush said, "See, I told you it wasn't only in our country


Bobby Slayton
I got a teenage daughter and a menopausal wife. One's getting breasts, one's getting whiskers. My life is over.


Hollywood mourns

And last, but not least, Actor Charlton Heston has passed away, his wife was by his side. He was 84. He was a fine actor, one of the last great stars of the old Hollywood studio system. He did an enormous amount of charity work, but in recent years that was overshadowed by his NRA position “Soylent Green Is People!” Yes it is. Except the celebrities are now the soylent green, and we’re doing the chewing. Thanks Chuck, for Moses. No one could have done it better. Rest In Peace.

Well that’s it. Gotta go say a prayer for all of us, then catch some zzzz’s

Doc. B. gone baby gone.