Heidi-Ho folks,
Doc. B. Here. It’s the Sabbath, so all is quiet in the house. Too quiet. The animals can’t speak to each other, so I’ve had a fairly peaceful day. So without further ado, here’s what’s cooking.
But first…
“Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.”
“Groucho Marx”
Jessica Got A Tuna
Looks like a football isn’t the only thing Dallas QB Tony Romo fumbles.
ROMO ducked behind the line of scrimmage and let girlfriend JESSICA SIMPSON pick up a whopping $3,000-plus tab at LA club Villa for him and 10 other freeloaders - who never once offered to kick in! "It was disgusting - no one even lifted a finger or asked to see the bill," said My Spywitness. "When Jess saw no one was going to pony up, she finally took out her wallet." Source Here
Poor Jessica. It would seem chivalry is truly dead. Hmmph, this Romo jerk could afford to buy the restaurant with one game-day paycheck. To think the city of Dallas blames her when she attends games, for the mishaps this jackass causes on the football field. The lovely + beautiful Jessica Simpson should dump this clod like a bowel movement after drinking Mexican tap water. This guy’s not “chicken of the the sea” worthy.He’s no tuna.
I Told you they would marry, see…
According to People.com, the small ceremony preceded Friday night's intimate reception at the groom's Tribeca loft, attended by her parents, Tina and Mathew, sis Solange, musical mates Kelly Rowlands, Michelle Williams and Beyoncé's pal Gwyneth Paltrow. Source Here
But there are whispers my friends. Was it a shotgun wedding?
Rumors about a possible pregnancy are starting to swirl. And, in retrospect, Beyoncé has recently been dressing the way celebs do when they're trying to disguise a beginner baby bump.
It’s true, she was spotted wearing a T-shirt that read
“Absolutly nothing in here”
with an arrow pointing to her tummy. However one of my Humpspies saw her wearing a T-shirt that read
“In 9 months this little bugger is gonna make me 20 mil richer!”
This is clearly another of those baby scams. This has to stop people. Celebs have to be famous for more than just making babies right? Right?? Hmmm, never mind!
Simon’s Generosity
Nasty Simon Cowell could be such a charmer.
The music mogul certainly knows how to keep his number one star Leona Lewis happy - he got her a beautiful charm bracelet for her birthday Source Here
Well that’s a lot better than what Simon sent Clay Aiken on his B’day. Ear plugs and a dark veil. I wonder what he meant by that. Hmmm…
Ladies And Gentlemen, The One, The Only, The Living Legend.
Speaking of Clay Aiken, his new album coming cut soon and this is what he told USA Today
Musically, he promises the new album has "a little bit of something for everyone, from symphonic-type ballads to upbeat, edgy stuff." Source Here
He goes on to say he’d like to emulate the edgy sound that Adam Ant guy is doing. I love his outfits, he also say’s. When asked who he wants to win on Idol this year, he cryptically replied. That they’re not his type. He also wrote one song on the album and someday hopes to write a song as deep and as trendy as Barry Manilow’s “Cocacabana”. Humph… Who wouldn’t?
Paula’s Sleeping With Dustin Hoffan??
Speaking of Idol, here’s a bit of gossip I got from the everlasting Mike Walker.
Fox still takes great pains to strictly segregate contestants from the judges – especially Paula. And since the scandal, “Idol” security staff use a code word for Ms. Cougar – but not to her face, of course, so she’s never heard it before. ARE YOU READY, PAULA? It’s…(oh, I love this!)…MRS. ROBINSON! (Coo-Coo-Ca-CHOO, babe!) Source Here
Mike! Behave! That sounded absolutely catty. Mike still got it though folks. Ms. Cougar, “Coo-Coo-Ca-Choo” Classic. Mike’s way more classy than I am. There’s no denying perfection, and Mike Walker is perfection personified.
Whoa
Someone asked Keanu Reeves about about a rumour of another “Bill and Ted” movie, this is his reply.
Keanu Reeves confirmed that any hope of a Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure reunion is just that — hope. "If there is [plans for a sequel], I'm not there” Source Here
Whoa, dude, … That’s like, so cold-blooded the way you shot that dream down in flames. This is totally the opposite of “awesome”, which is, like… like… sucks, you know. Dude, you’ve really bummed me out. You know what my faithful readers, I think it’s a good thing that Keanu won’t do another one. It would be downright sad to see a fortyish year old man talking like that.
JOKE BREAK
I noticed a list of killer jokes at the NYPost I listed a few I liked below, otherwise click here and check out the whole list for yourself.
Jeffrey Ross
John McCain is so old that running for President is on his bucket list
Bill Maher
Barack Obama bowled a 37. Is he black enough for you now
Robert Duchaine
Almost all serial killers are men. That's 'cause women like to kill one
man slowly over many, many years.
George Carlin
Why do they put alcohol on the arm of a death row inmate before they give him the needle? Are they afraid he might get an infection
David Brenner
Gasoline prices are highest in Hawaii, closing in on $4 a gallon. President Bush said, "See, I told you it wasn't only in our country
Bobby Slayton
I got a teenage daughter and a menopausal wife. One's getting breasts, one's getting whiskers. My life is over.
Hollywood mourns
And last, but not least, Actor Charlton Heston has passed away, his wife was by his side. He was 84. He was a fine actor, one of the last great stars of the old Hollywood studio system. He did an enormous amount of charity work, but in recent years that was overshadowed by his NRA position “Soylent Green Is People!” Yes it is. Except the celebrities are now the soylent green, and we’re doing the chewing. Thanks Chuck, for Moses. No one could have done it better. Rest In Peace.
Well that’s it. Gotta go say a prayer for all of us, then catch some zzzz’s
Doc. B. gone baby gone.
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