Priest Stalks Conan: What’s The Punch Line?

Heidi-Ho folks, Doc. B. here,

He couldn't take the guilt any longer. Luis, my cat, has confessed to the murder of Pedro the fish. Antonio the chimp, as acting judge in this case has gone to Hooters to reflect upon what, if any sentence, is to be handed down. Finally some sense of normalcy has returned to the house. Tomorrow, I'm going to look for a new fish and put this little episode behind me. Here's the news.

But first…

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
“Groucho Marx”


Good To Be Famous Part VIII

It's nice to see justice served. Mischa Barton, who was arrested on DUI charges, driving without a license, and possession of marijuana, has only to serve 3 yrs probation, and pay a fine. The pot charge was dropped, and the driver's license charge reduced to a misdemeanour. Hmmm, I think, if I got pulled over, for all of the above, the long arm of the law would still be pulling its fist out of my ass. It's good to be famous some times. Source Here


The New Kids On The Block: Less Hair, More Weight

Guess what, the "New Kids On The Block" are keeping their name. Yes,, the newly reformed group will keep the moniker. I guess the new names they tried out didn't stick. Among them, it was rumoured, were "Male Pattern Baldness Guys", "Strange Men On The Street", "Guys Your Mom Warned You About", "New Kids Older and Wiser", "New Bills To Pay", and "Out Of Work.As a matter of fact, Jonathan even admits to needing some new cash influx
"Real estate's going awful," added Jonathan of his new career. "You can't sell anything these days." That's a solid foundation to build on. I can't wait to see what demographic shows up to watch this inspired bunch perform. Source Here


Stalker Priest to Conan: Tickle Me

Conan O'Brien's stalker is a man of the cloth. No, really he's a priest. I know, I know. I'm just as shocked as you are. Still, the story seems legit, and the police have letters this "Padre" sent to Conan, in them it said "Is this the way you treat your most dangerous fans?" I'm sure when he said dangerous, he meant that Conan's eternal soul could be jeopardy with sacrilegious skit's like the masturbating bear. I'm sure he wasn't being literal. There's more,
"want a public confession before I ever consider giving you absolution -- or a spot on your couch," wrote Ajemian, who signed the notes "Padre". Hmm .. now he seems a little confused. Poor soul.

There was also talk of another letter that went on to say that the Padre wanted to give Conan a wee tickle and a little peck on the noggin. That together, they would enter the year 2000 (??) as companions for life. The Padre, and his tall ,red haired choir boy who has descended from the heavens, to give me sponge baths and rub my feet. This rumored letter was proven unfounded, and nonexistent.

Well, at least we can count on the church to do the right thing and bar him from the priesthood right.

The Boston Archdiocese said in a statement that Ajemian had been placed on leave and was no longer allowed to minister publicly. Oh crap, they'll probably send him to a mission in Africa taking care of orphans, considering the church's track record in these matters. That's it, I'm tearing up my membership card. Source Here


Terror In The Skies

How can this happen?
LONDON -- Supermodel Naomi Campbell has been banned from flying with British Airways after she was escorted off a flight last week and arrested on suspicion of assaulting a police officer, media reports said on Tuesday. Source Here
What gives them the right to do this? She’s a paying customer, who’s luggage was lost. How is she at fault here. Well, Naomi doesn’t need them, there’s other airlines she can travel on. Airlines that will be more than happy to accommodate Ms. Campbell, and any alleged vitriol, assault, spitting, scratching or whatever else may occur due to the ineptitude of the airline, or its employees, or innocent passengers who happen to get in the way of Naomi having a glitch free travel. She’s earned it dammit.

Well that’s it, I gotta go now… What’s that Bruce? Who’s at the door? Antonio’s Ex-wife Lucinda! Ah Hell.

Doc. B. Gone baby, gone.