Lilo's Lawsuit Woes, Go Hab's Go!

Heidi-Ho folks, Doc. B. here,

I didn’t have time to look for a new fish today because my socks were wet. (They’re my last pair) I watched “Idol Gives Back”, and it looks like Robin Williams has finally run out of funny material. Terri Hatcher can sing! (Not great, but not bad) Billy Crystal really is starting to look like Jack Benny, and Miley Cyrus still makes me ill. Here’s some news.

Bust first…

“I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.”
“Groucho Marx”


Ahhh… Memories Of Showgirls

Kyle Maclacklan, a fine actor who has appeared in such films as “Blue Velvet”, “Dune” and “The Hidden” (one of my favourites) is preparing to have a baby. Some how, baby talk, leads to the camp classic “Showgirls”. Anyways, Kyle defends his reason for doing the film this way “I was young, at my physical peak, and nobody died”. Well hold on a minute, people have died, they just haven’t been reported as death by “Showgirls”. Honestly, Kyle should be proud of the film. It’s an accurate and truthful examination of the life. And, and it has the most awesome, wet-n-wild, sexsplash, boffing scene in mainstream film history. Put it in the vault Kyle, and lock it up until such a time comes when you want to show your son just what the old man was capable of. Think of the laff’s and precious moment you and your son will share as you slow the picture to a crawl, so you can count 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi as the water drips every so slowly down Elizabeth Berkeley’s breast. Ahhh… Just thinking of it puts a smile on your face doesn’t it. Huh… what if he has a girl? Hmmm…. Then I guess he has some “splaining to do”. Source Here


Pam’s Birthday suit Gift To Hef

Hugh Hefner turned 82. Can you believe it. This lucky bastard has had it all, with whomever ,whenever,for most of his adult life. Yeah I know, it sucks rocks doesn’t it. Of course Hef celebrated at the Playboy Manson with all his lovely bubbly, bouncy lady friends. (lucky bastard) To top it all off, Pamela Anderson delievered the birthday cake in her high heels (I know lucky bastard, you’re thinking) Really, talk about a charmed life. We all say we’d like to die while having sex, but the odds-makers in Vegas must have Hef high on top of the list. No doubt followed by Charlie Sheen, Bill Clinton (if Hilary catches him, he’ll be dead) and Weird Al Yankovic (seriously, he gets all kinda of tail) I once got a birthday cake delivered by a naked woman. Unfortunately, it was my great grandmother, she was drunk on scotch, and inadvertently put out my candles because she was carrying the cake just above her waist. It was extremely awkward explaining to the doctor how the candle wax got on her breasts (he didn’t believe me) To this day, I wake up screaming. Source Here


Depp’s , I Do

Sorry girls, Johnny Depp’s getting married. You will all have to obsess over a married man soon. Aren’t you ashamed of yourselves. Whaddaya mean that just makes him hotter. Humph, real men like Weird Al just don’t get the love these faux bad boys do. I’m not kidding! If you saw Weird Al step out of the shower, your jaw would hit the floor before your panties do. How do I know? Wouldn’t you like to know. It was just a phase in college. Everyone does it. Source Here


Lilo’s Lawsuit Woe’s

Lindsay Lohan is being sued by a former bodyguard who claims she owes him money for about 5 months work. David Kim who’s duties included protecting Lohan from fans and the paparazzi, accompanying her to industry events and obtaining VIP tables at clubs and concerts. No truth to the matter that he held the back of her head up so she could service her ex, Callum Best. Hmmm… I would have to check the tape again… Nope, don’t see his hand. What a liar. He should shut up, and just be thankful he was able to stand near Lilo’s flame before it’s extinguished. Source Here


Well that’s all. I gotta go check my hockey pool. Hmmm… Lets see, Penguins win, Senators are toast anyways. Ranger win the 1st game in the start of a long series. And tomorrow my beloved Canadians’ play their first game against Boston. Nothing left to say but. GO HABS GO!

Doc. B. Gone baby, gone.