Jamie Lynn’s Getting Fat, And So Is Eminem: Whitney’s All Messed Up Again

Heidi-Ho Folks, Doc. B. here.

You ever feel good about yourself? Then someone has to go and ruin it for you. Happened to me today I was walking along, minding my own business in a real dangerous part of town when I see this poor blind man. Realizing that the traffic was bad and it was a bit foggy, I decided I better help him across the street. Well, what an adventure. We nearly got hit twice. Finally we reached the other side of the street and the blind dude starts giving me shit. Something about how he had arranged for a taxi to pick him up and he said something to the effect that, I should take out the shit between my ears cause he was telling me he didn’t want to cross the street but I ignored him. Humph some people just don’t want help I guess. So I left him, and his miserable disposition with a “Kick Me” sign on his back. The ingrate. Here’s the news.


But first…


“There are no straight backs, no symmetrical faces, many wry noses, and no even legs. We are a crooked and perverse generation.”
“William Osler “


Whatcha’ Talking Bout Willis

Poor Gary Coleman picked a winner when he married Sharon Price. It seems like she just doesn’t get the little guy "If he doesn't get his way, he throws a temper tantrum like a five-year-old does,"
Well duh, he’s a little man. This guy has had big…er, huge…um, large, no… Serious, yeah that’s it serious issues all his life. She then says "He like stomps the floor and yells, 'Meehhhh,' and starts throwing stuff around. He bashes his head in the wall, too."
Hmmm… he does sound like a real joy to be around eh! In any case Coleman has his reasons right? This is how he justifies his tantrums. "When I try to state my case or explain things to her or try to get her to understand my point of view," Coleman says, "my point of view doesn't matter."
Hmmm… I guess when that doesn’t work is when he holds his breath or yells I hate you. He also seems like quite the loner, "I don't have any friends and don't have any intention of making any," he says. "People will stab you in the back, mistreat you, talk about me behind your back, steal from you.
Wow, guess he’s been burned quite a few times. I guess that could make a little man, a little bitter. He must hate any publicity or attention right. It must tough to be a walking, talking punch line. I’m almost starting to feel sorry for him, almost. Coleman and his wife are scheduled to appear in the May 1st and 2nd episodes of “Divorce Court.” Hmmm… seems like the most appropriate setting for a bitter, angry dwarf to settle his problems. Source Here


Just Shut Your Trap

Madonna continues to open her mouth and speak. Most annoying. She was speaking to “Inside Edition” about a film she made about the orphans in Malawi "I've learned that my complaints are silly and ridiculous in comparison to most peoples', and going to Africa has really put things in perspective for me on that level,"
Really! Why just last week you compared Tom Cruise’s plight with orphans in Africa. When Tom jumps up and down on Oprah’s couch, does that give you perspective as well. Humph. Source Here


With Whitney It’s Déjà Vu All Over Again

Whitney Houston has become more and more visible of late, and it’s not all good. The famous diva attended the Hopkins-Calzaghe fight in Vegas and was in need of assistance just to make the journey to her seats. Her, and her entourage then behaved like they were kings of the castle and were very demanding. Boy it seems like she’s making all the same mistakes over and over again. She’s still abusing, she’s still dating loser wannabe’s like her ex-husband. There’s supposedly a new CD coming out soon but I’m sure her record company is holding their breath, hoping this doesn’t turn into one giant career train wreck. She seems like she’s headed for a fork in the road and I ain’t too optimistic on her ability to choose the right direction to follow.We’ll see soon enough. Source Here


Sex Or Succubus

Well that didn’t take long did it? Nicole Ritchie is buying all kinds of new sexy undergarments to spice up a love life that has become decidedly less romantic. “They are thrilled to be parents but things have turned less romantic between them. Before Joel went on tour with his band Good Charlotte they were exhausted from sleep deprivation, which killed any sexual desire.
I hope for her sake that Joel hasn’t been turned off by her after the baby like my friend Ryan. After Ryan saw the baby come out of his wife’s uterus he was convinced she was a succubus and would devour him in a moment of intimacy. I hope what affected Ryan isn’t happening to Joel. In the end Ryan was sentenced to prison after trying to hire a mercenary to hunt and kill an evil that devours the souls of men and eats and spits out children (Ryan’s words) The judge was not amused. I doubt this is what’s happened to Joel but if I were Nicole…
Source Here


Nudity

Misha Barton says she has no problem appearing nude on film. All I can say is god bless her.
Source Here


Goose Stepping Around The Question

Apparently Wyclef Jean was a victim of racisms by a reporter interviewing him. An Australian journalist mistook Wyclef Jean for Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas.
“Did you say I was (Black Eyed Peas singer) will.i.am (will.i.am)? “Listen baby I’m going to tell you something, look at my face right - do you think all black people look alike?
Well duh, Yeah of course. These are the same people who followed the Nazis remember. Goose stepping, tanks, the SS, ring a bell, of course they think you all look the same, Huh, what’s that Bruce? Oh, I see. Sorry folks, Australian and Austria are two different countries. My mistake. They kind of look alike you know, they both start with AUST, it could happen to anyone right. An honest mistake. Sorry. I hope I didn’t insult both countries with my ignorance. Too late? I did, didn’t I. Let’s move on…
Source Here


Jamie Lynn Wants a Stunt Double

Jamie Lynn Spears has watched a video of a natural child birth (her mom’s idea) and now she’s totally freaking out. Now she wants a C-section with the drug cocktail so there’s no pain, she just wants to wake up after its all over.Gee that sounds so easy that way , almost like it didn’t happen. Except theres still a little baby to take care of. Humph, physical pain isn’t all that comes with having children, and this girl is still living in la-la land playing “mommy and daddy”. Well I think she’s going to be growing up real fast, real soon. At least, she better, for the baby’s sake. Source Here


Don’t Forget To Remember Me (Because I’ll Break Down And Cry)

Carrie Underwood apparently broke down and cried while performing the song “Don’t Forget To Remember Me”. Yeah, I break down and cry when I hear country music too, so I know where’s she’s coming from. Source Here


Eminem’s Are Fattening

50 Cent has come out and publicly stated that Eminem is not fat but in fact, is in great shape "He looks good. I seen him in Detroit. He's gonna look real good when you see him return."
Yeah right. I’ve got 20 bucks that says when Eminem surfaces, he’s going to look like Brando in “Apocalypse Now” any takers. Source Here


Copycat

Porn star Jenna Jameson Celebrated her birthday “surrounded by bikini-clad dancers” Bitch! She has to copy everything I do. Source Here


Well that’s it folks, I gotta go, there’s a secret meeting of the Jeffrey Comb’s fan club tonight. At his house… shhhh

Doc. B. Gone baby, gone.