Yoko And K-Fed Should Date, Hurricane Heather Slam's NY

Halito folks

Well I warned my cat Luis not to defend himself. Today they selected the jury, and Luis somehow let 4 mice and 2 birds on the jury. He's so screwed, he thinks he's Jenna Jameson. He keep's asking me for Johnnie Cochran's cell, but I tell him he's dead, he just shrugs me off muttering something about a Ouija board, and if it don't fit you must acquit. I think he's losing it. Well enough about that, here's the celeb news for today.

But first…


"Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean."
"Ryunosuke Satoro"


Naomi, free at last

Yes, yes, yes. We can all take a deep breath and exhale slowly now people, she's free. Naomi Campbell is free on bail, and a great injustice has begun to be corrected. Now, there's just the matter of clearing her good name. First, someone need's to lose their job over this. Then of course there will be lawsuits, (I drink your milkshake) many, many lawsuits, and they will pay, oh yes, they will pay dearly for besmirching the name, and reputation of Naomi Campbell. What were they smoking man, when has Naomi ever been anything but, the lovely, charming, dignified, super-goddess that we all know and love. Honestly, why do people out there gotta hate, and make up petty lies to make themselves feel just a little bit less small. Oh yes. They will pay. Source Here


Hurricane Heather Threatening East Coast

You think the economy's bad in the U.S. right now. Hold on to your hats, tighten up those belts, save those used aluminum foil sheet's, better think twice about paying for that emergency medical procedure because Heather Mill's, Paul's ex greedy, trashy, bitchy, selfish, shrewish, shifty, slutty, lying, (what too much) wife is coming to America. (with a huge, dark cloud of locust's following closely behind her) to find an apartment. I know, I know, it sends a shiver down your spine, don't it. Manhattan, NY. appears to be the front runner, ( and will no doubt be swept away clean in a huge sandstorm) for the Mills sweepstakes. No doubt, as we speak Manhattan's real estate market has taken a down turn toward the center of the Earth. Panic has already set in, and once magnificent streets and neighbourhoods are already turning into slums, and barter town's Awww c'mon, cheer up NYC., maybe she'll change her mind and move to L.A., it's already dammed. Source Here


Shotgun Wedding

Rapper Remy Ma is going to prison for a shooting accident and now she's getting married to her fiancé Papoose… Papoose. (sorry… cant'… breathe……hyperve… need…. Paper… bag!.... ….. ….) Ah, that's better, couldn't stop laughing there for a moment… hey, you look pretty flush in the face too. Hmm… Papoose! (heh heh) Papoose! C'mon, you know you love it. So Remy and P. are getting married at Riker's Island Jail. If you're planning to attend, I'd be very careful to check the old wallet and pure for anything iffy before being searched at the gate. If you want to send congratulation's to Remy, I can't help you there, but you might want to try the NY State Corrections Department. Source Here


K-Fed + Vegas - $ = BANANAS

Do you guy's remember what I said I would be doing if I were Britney, after reading that Kevin's kid's dictate his schedule now. Then he was on a extended 5 day weekend at Vegas, drunk and blowing all kind's of dough in the casino's. Do you remember what I said I'd be doing. That's right, you got it. I'd be screaming "This Shit Is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. This Shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
I bring this up because I noticed this article dealing with K-Fed's spending habits. I told you then, and I'll tell you again. This guy is a worthless, slimy, suckhole of a little bitch. Oh yeah, I forgot, he's devoid of talent as well. Still sucking on some woman's teat to get by.


" Congratulations, Yoko Ono, assassins, cancer, and one-legged gold diggers: You're no longer the worst thing to happen to the Beatles."
"Joel McHale, About American Idol Contestant David Archuleta Butchering Beatles Lyrics, On The Soup"


OH NO YOKO ONO

Just when I thought I could stomach Yoko Ono a little bit, she say's something that make's me vomit thru my nose and nearly choke on the chunks in my throat.
"It's not very easy for a woman to be associated with The Beatles. I think all the wives did suffer, but suffer quietly and endured."

How can she defend Heather Mills, even a little bit. My Gosh, the devil doesn't need a lobbyist, and Heather Mills don't need Yoko Ono. Heather just has to speak in her ancient wiccan way's and all will shrivel up and cease to exist around her. Yoko, don't defend her. Just shut up (oh, and stay out of Manhattan, pestilence has descended upon it) Just F.Y.I.
Source Here


Jay-Z + Beyoncé Marry Tonight Guaranteed

Look I know I was wrong about Wednesday, but tonight is the night. Jay-Z + Beyoncé. It's on. It's on like a fat man and butter waffles. I assure you, they are getting married tonight. And if I'm wrong, it'll be soon (by soon I mean within the next calendar year) tonight the night, I can feel it, I can feel it like Phil words.


Well that's it for now.

Gotta go see this man for a horse.

Doc. B.