Sharon Stone and Madonna, Mmmm: Drew + Playboy Bunnie = Hotdog

Selamat pagi folks,

Well, I can’t get in my foyer now, as it’s all been taped off as a crime scene. There’s still no date set for Luis the cat’s murder trial. I told my chimp Antonio, that I was going to buy another fish, but he say’s it’s irrelevant. He’s hungover again, so there’s no talking to him. Bruce is in hiding but I got a lead to where he’s holed up. (He charged 8 boxes of Milkbones to my credit card). I’ll let you know, when I know, what’s going on. Ok. Lot’s of news, let’s get busy.

But first…

“Society is like a stew. If you don’t stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.”
“Edward Paul Abbey”


Idol’s David Cook has an “episode”

"American Idol" contestant David Cook was rushed to an L.A. hospital after last night's show. He was experiencing stress-related heart palpitations.”

Despite feeling light-headed, Cook went on with the show and was taken to the hospital after his performance of "Little Sparrow" to be checked out for high blood pressure and anxiety.
Source Here

David, David, David, lay off the blo my man. I know you hurtin’ bro, but it’s your time to shine, embrace it. Just say no dude.
Ahhh… I’m just kidding folk’s, he’s not a coke fiend. But as a doctor I must advise David from drinking six Red Bulls, 2 mocha lattés, and a little tequila, and to stop eating Jello with sugar and pieces of dark Peruvian chocolate sprinkled on top, before performing. The combination of these items may make you hyper. So David, cut back on the Jello my man. Doctor’s orders.


Ryan Seacrest Is A Real Man

It seems Ryan Seacrest had a rough night too, but he has a high threshold for pain.

Ryan hurt his knee when he bashed his leg against the metal railings while running across the set. And he also stayed at his host post.
Seacrest told listeners this morning, "That's gonna leave a mark!"
Yeah, that’s gonna leave a mark, just like when I tried on Paula’s corset.
Just like when Simon bitch slapped me.
Just like when Ruben and his brother tackled me.
Just like when Randy snatched the jelly donut out of my mouth.
Just like when Kelly Clarkson clocked me for asking about her weight.
Just like when Clay Aiken pinched me on the thigh, when I told him no means no.
Yeah, that gonna leave a mark.
Just kidding, we all know Ryan’s a man’s man. Just like Rock Hudson..
(Crickets)… Sheesh, tough room.
Source Here


SCOTT WEILLAND IS A DICK

Velvet Revolver has broken up, or at the least, lost their lead vocalist. Singer Scott Weilland sure sounds like a dick, if you ask me…. What’s that,.. you’re not sure, check this

“After reading the comment by Duff, Matt, Dave and the illustrious “GUITAR HERO,” Saul Hudson, a.k.a Slash, I find it humorous that the so called four “founding members” of Velvet Revolver, better known to themselves as “the Project” before I officially named the band, would decide to move on without me after I had already claimed the group dead in the water on March 20 in Glasgow. In response to Slash’s comment regarding my commitment, I have to say it is a blatant and tired excuse to cover up the truth. The truth of the matter is that the band had not gotten along on multiple levels for some time. On a musical level, there were moments of joy, inspiration, fun…at times, but let’s not forget the multiple trips to rehab every member of the band had taken (with the exception of one member, no need to mention his name). Personally speaking, I choose to look forward to the future and performing with a group of friends I have known my entire life, people who have always had my back. This also speaks to my commitment to my music and my fellow band mates in STP and to the fans who I feel would much rather watch a group of musicians who enjoy being together as opposed to a handful of discontents who at one time used to call themselves a gang.

p.s. don’t be fooled by veiled trickery

p.p.s good hunting lads, I think Sebastian Bach would be a fantastic choice.”

Full story here

See, told ya, He’s a dick right. I’m so happy we agree, you know what they say, “Great minds think of sex, no, wait a minute…that’s not it. It’s right on the tip of my di…., no, that’s not it either. You know what. It doesn’t matter let’s move on shall we.

Stone + Madonna = Wet Dreams.

This caught my eye.
Now - because there is a god - these two legendary femme fatales will join forces to do a good deed in a naughty world. On May 22, at Le Moulin de Mougins restaurant on the Riviera, Madonna and Sharon are to preside over Harvey Weinstein's annual "Cinema Against AIDS" gala at Cannes, benefiting AmFAR.

Bold Films, Chopard and the Weinstein Co. are sponsoring, and Seal will perform.

Sharon Stone + Madonna together. Why doe’s the first thing that comes to my mind, is the image of these two, withering on the floor on top of each other like some tawdry, girl on girl action at a seedy, grimy; dark strip club that you have to go thru an alley, and climb two flight’s of stairs to reach the club. I dunno, maybe it’s just me… Yeah, it’s me. Sorry.
Source Here


Drew + Playboy Bunnie = Heart Palpitations

April 2, 2008 -- DREW Barrymore can now add Playboy photographer to her credits. The actress, an amateur photographer in her free time, borrowed a camera from the house fotog at Saturday's Playboy Golf lingerie party and started snapping away at Bunnies. "One Bunny was bent over, balancing teacups on her butt that Andy Milonakis had placed there, and Drew said, 'I have to get this shot,' " said our spy.

Now, why is it, the next thing I think of is Drew and this playboy bunnie withering on top of each other like some tawdry, girl on girl… Sorry bout that. My bad. Let’s move on
Source Here


It’s Official, Val Kilmer’s Career is in the Shitter.

Knight Rider get’s the green light to become a series’ Val Kilmer will apparently continue to be the voice of K.I.T.T., the talking car, Val Kilmer, my God, is his career that far into the toilet, that he needs a plunger like K.I.T.T., the talking car to unclog the mess his career is in. Couldn’t he just leak a sex tape, or go on the Bachelor to jump start his way back on top (or in the news, at least) K.I.T.T. the talking f#@%ing car. Sheesh!
Source Here


Well that’s it

Gotta go get my dog Bruce before he orders clothes from the GAP again, like the last time.

Chào, Doc. B.