Is Cameron Diaz A Dog, Eminem To Perform At Birthday Party

Heidi-Ho folks Doc. B. Here,

Well, the house looks completely different than when I left it. Antonio’s ex-wife has moved everything around while she stay’s. It would seem that she never divorced legally from Antonio and is here to try to reconcile, which would be fine if Antonio was actually here. He got wind she was in town, and he’s pulled a Houdini. She doesn’t believe a word I tell her, and she starts throwing stuff and climbing the walls whenever I suggest a nice hotel. She’s so obtuse! It’s sometimes hard to believe we evolved from this irrational and emotional species. In the meantime (A great song by “Helmut” by the way) Bruce is scouring the dives and strip clubs to see where Antonio is hiding. I hope he finds him soon. It’s hard to concentrate or relax, this place is like a jungle. Not much in the news, (really, it’s the lint between your ass crack as stories go today) but here go’s.

But first…

"Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it."
“Robert Heinlein”


The Bitch Is Back

Gerald Butler seems worried we’ll find out his little secret. His talked about his squeeze Cameron Diaz and his dog, and let a Freudian slip, slip. comparing his recent night out with Diaz to walking a four-legged creature. "If I was out walking my dog, you would say I'm [bleep]ing my dog” he said. Well Gerald, it would depend .Is your dog walking funny. Hmmm. Cameron should watch out for this bitch. http://www.tmz.com/


HUH

I saw this rather strange headline, and it gave me pause.
Eminem to perform for Mandela's 90th birthday bash
Mandela will be thrilled… big fan. Big, big fan. Rumour has it his staff calls him shady in private.


Sit, Boy, Sit, Good Boy

Look at this. An actor who knows his place in the world. Listen to what Neil Patrick Harris said.
"My job description is to act," his statement said, "and I should really do just that." That’s right monkey boy, just shut up, and dance when we tell you to. Good, that’s a good monkey boy. Lay down. Source Here


Matchbox 20 Sticks

Matchbox 20 has a problem with rodeo’s so they’re going to act like jerks.
Lead singer Rob Thomas confirms that the band is pulling out of its July 18 show at Cheyenne Frontier Days, which bills itself as the world's biggest outdoor rodeo. A statement from the band asks fans to understand that it would be impossible for them to put themselves in the position of making money from what it believes to be the mistreatment of animals.
The Grammy-winning band is still scheduled to perform this summer at the North Dakota State Fair, which includes rodeo events.
Now, why the hell would you book these outdoor shows in the first place if you feel that way. It seems to me they could have raised awareness to the problem (if there is one) had they actually performed. This is just another case of a group of musicians’ bandwagon hopping onto a hot button issue. There is nothing worse than bandwagon hoppers. They smell (phwew). Source Here


Tom Cruise The Nazi

Tom Cruises stars as a Nazi (I can see that) trying to kill Adolph Hitler, in his next movie "Valkyrie", there were lots of rumors going around that test audiences were giggling while watching Tom's performance (Never a good sign for a dramatic film) The film which was supposed to open last June, then around Halloween, has now been pushed back until sometime in 2009. Hmmm, his last film flopped (Lions for Lambs), they're naming medical marijuana after him, and his wife is slowly starting to remind me of Mia Farrow when she was with Frank Sinatra.
I guess all he has going for him is his relentless drive to succeed. Someday all the tumblers will fall into place, and the stars will align, and Cruise and his half alien child will rise to power, taking control over existing nations as they help engineer the earth's takeover by 7ft tall space aliens who will enslave the human race and bestow upon Cruise the knowledge to achieve the final stage of power granted by scientology. Then we will all be at his mercy (watch out Brooke Shields!) Then Tom will have the last laugh (a long maniacal one) as he rules with an iron fist. (what too much…. Sorry) Source Here


Ice In Da House

Vanilla Ice has been arrested and released after domestic battery charges involving his wife. There you go folks, that's most likely the only time you're going hear Ice's name this year. Thanks for letting us know you're still alive Ice-baby, keep the faith bro, chill, and go make it rain in da club. Peace out. Source Here


Matthew Perry Need A Job

Do you wonder what Matthew Perry is up to? Not too much really, although the mirror reports that he's using a dating site called "richsoulmate.com". On it he describes himself as "cute and adorable, though pained and lonely" He also goes on to say that he really misses his friends, the million dollars an episode, the must see Thursdays. He says his pain is really deep, so deep he feels it in his ass. Also he says he's lonely because nobody really understands him, and that he has needs. Sometimes, all he really needs is a hug, maybe some flowers, or chocolates as a surprise. It doesn't have to be expensive (preferably) because it’s the thought that counts. It's embarrassing to see this guy sink so low, so fast.
Source Here


Well that’s all folks. I gotta go get Lucinda off the ceiling fan before she breaks it.
Doc. B., gone baby, gone.