Tom Cruise Sucks Up / Jessica Simpson Need To Dump Papa Joe

Heidi Ho folks Doc B. here

I'm still locked away at the safe house and Antonio is still at my house lying in wait for Bubbles to show her face there. And if you'll indulge me for one moment folks I'd like to issue a warning to a personal friend. Fozzie man, don't be dropping by my place, I think Antonio laid some mines! Thank you folks and here's the news.

But first…

“The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people”
“George Bernard Shaw”


Papa Joe Is Sticking His Nose Where It Don't Belong

Run Romo run. Run as fast and as far as you can from Jessica Simpson and her greedy, evil, manipulating Papa Joe. The truth about Tony Romo and Jessica's on-again, off-again romance is beginning to surface.
It would seem Joe Simpson thought he could weasel his slimy, fast talking, used car salesman's ass of his into Tony's business, both personal and financial. First Joe suggested that Tony drop his agent and let Joe handle his Dallas Cowboys career and the $65.7 million contract that comes with it.
Now I know of Tony gets crashed into by football players heavier than a small Japanese car, but I think he still has enough wits about him not to let his possible father-in-law have another reason to be around all the time. I mean come on Joe what were you thinking, Tony may be a dumb jock but the last time I looked he was conscious, and probably doesn't like the feeling of your hand inside his back pocket either. Joe, ever the entrepreneur had more ideas to help line his pockets... er, their pockets, If you guys have a marriage, I can (sell it) the same that I did with Ashlee,” Joe said, according to the insider. Geez what a scuzzy little bastard. I don't think Papa Joe realizes that Tony Romo isn't like his daughters, a product that needs to be pushed upon the masses. He's not a product like his daughters are. To sell and promote every single little thing they ever do. Tony doesn't need this shit. Every Sunday in the National Football League he plays in packed stadiums in front of screaming adoring fans who love him, or on the road in the opponent's stadium versus rabid enemy fans. Whichever the venue, Tony is not lacking an audience. It comes as no surprise that Jessica and Tony's relationship is in a trial period with Papa Joe trying to position himself behind Tony's ass, metaphorically speaking of course. Personally folks I think this relationship is doomed to failure so long as Jessica continues to let her father butt into her personal life. However she's been handled by him so long that I doubt she knows who's voice she's hearing inside that pretty little head of hers. Is it the voice of her father, the snake oil salesmen. Or can she hear in the back of her mind that sweet little voice who asked if this tuna was chicken. I miss that voice. Source Here


Think Saving Private Ryan, But As A Musical

Tommy too much and his mail order bride Katie Holmes had a big housewarming party with lots of guests, [I wasn't invited... humph] with the theme of their party being " Help My Career Please" you may remember that Tom has a movie that was supposed to come out this summer, preview audiences were rolling in the aisles with laughter apparently, although it's not a comedy, so that could pose a problem. The movie is named' Valkyrie', and Tom plays a German officer who is planning to assassinate Adolf Hitler. Hmmm... you know folks I think I know a way to make this movie more accessible to audiences. Three words "big musical number" I'm telling you it would work folks. There hasn't been a great comedy musical war movie since the Marx Brothers 'Duck Soup'. Anyhow the party included people that Tom has rubbed wrong, or just plain pissed off, like Steven Spielberg, Summer Redstone, and Oprah Winfrey, who's still complaining about the springs in her couch by the way. Anyhow there seems to be some kind of dogma or commandment in Scientology that says "after you cut people off, you have to invite them back in,"
Hmmm... that could be .. awkward, don't you thinkThen there were all the gays, which was hilarious, because Scientology 'cures' gays.", the source revealed. Like I said before folks,.. awkward. Anyways, we'll see if all the ass kissing pays off, Tom does seem a little desperate these days. Maybe being the King Nut Bar of a crazy ass cult/ religion is finally taking its toll. Source Here


F***Ing With Hockey

Is Canada about to become an aimless nation adrift at sea? The answer could quite possibly be yes. The nation's national broadcaster, the CBC, announced a deal to retain the rights to the Hockey Night in Canada theme song has fallen through, Copyright Music & Visuals said it had offered the public broadcaster a chance to renew its license to use Claman's song — a staple on HNIC since 1968 — on terms that were "virtually identical to those that have existed for the past decade." Previously, each use of the song cost the CBC about $500, the agency said.
After the first two years of a new agreement, the rates would rise about 15 per cent, an increase Copyright Music & Visuals president John Ciccone called an industry standard. Instead the CBC plans to hold a contest in which submitted pieces of music will be judged to find a new theme song for the hockey night broadcast. Now I know Canadians are easy-going and all, but when it comes to the hockey, and especially the Saturday night game, something tells me they won't sit idly by. There is a few Québecois sayings that come to mind, like 'sautez une coche' or 'sauté dans tête’ which loosely translated mean, the shit's gonna hit the fan. There's only so much a hockey loving Canuck can take, governed by boring politicians all cut from the same cloth, in an overtaxed, overly bureaucratic system, with poor regional representation, we should demand better but are too forgiving or just plain complacent. The CBC is a government- run broadcaster paid with taxpayer's money, so they better not start f***ing up Hockey Night in Canada. If they somehow don't resolve the rights issue and go ahead with this submit a song contest than that can only mean one thing 'son't fou tabarnac' Source Here


Ringo Worried

The backbone of a good band is the percussion , is it not? Members of the country group Alabama don't think so.
The drummer for the country group Alabama has been sued by his fellow band members, who say he was overpaid $202,670. Wow... that's a lot of scratch. He must really suck! In a related story, Ringo Starr has stopped taking Paul McCartney's calls. Coo-coo ka-choo folks. Source Here


Do-Gooder Or Do-Badder

Apparently wonder woman's still got the moves, she lept from her invisible jet into the Potomac River and snagged a drowning woman with her lasso and saved the day. Life's not like that, sorry. This is what unfortunately happened Lynda Carter told The Washington Post she was alone in a boat when she saw the body on Wednesday.
She said she didn't have a mobile phone with her, so she yelled to some fishermen and asked them to call police.Carter waited until rescuers arrived and directed them to the body. Yes, yes she was most helpful and very cooperative, yet I can't help wondering what she was doing on the water. There must be something more to this. Maybe she was smuggling cigarettes or guns. Or drugs! Why, she could have planted the bodyfor all we know, this could be all some big diversion.....(pause) nah! That's pretty f***ing thin. Skip it. Source Here


That's it that's all folks I gotta go dye my hair, then finish my disguise.

Doc B. gone baby gone