And Poof, Your Career Is Gone; Just Ask Tatum O’Neal

Heidi Ho folks Doc. B. here


Well I've set traps in front of all the doors, and I've nailed down all the windows, so all I can do now is wait. If Bubbles shows up here I'll be ready for her. I've got 911 on my speed dial just in case. It's good to be prepared, my dad used to always say. He used to always say, that's about as useful as tits on a mule, and if it smells like pipi let it be, too. So you have to be selective in which colorful sayings you're going to adhere to. Anyhow, enough about the babblings of crazy old ex-cons, here's the news.


But first…

“Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.”
“Homer Simpson”


Oupps

Britney Spears lights up fag after gym workout.
Well she's done and gone lost her mind hasn't she. All the stress from the divorce from Kevin, all the legal bills his and hers, the kids, the breakdown, the paparazzi scumbag reporter who screwed her, the constant scrutiny, as finally taken its toll. She's gone and snapped. She's gone batshit! But I can't believe she's so far gone that she would take it out on some poor soul who's just trying in to live his own life and be accepted, and she goes and lights him on fire. I got to admit I never saw this coming. She's going to be doing time for sure now.
Wait!... what's this... oh, it's an article from the UK that I think, I should have read further. I feel so stupid, so irresponsible. I'm sorry for misleading you folks, there seems to be a little something lost in the translation. It's so silly really, it turns out in Britain they call cigarettes fags. Huh! Learn something new everyday. Let's move on shall we. Source Here


Out And About

Reality TV personality, Tila Tequila thinks Lindsay Lohan should take the bull by the horns, so to speak and just admit that she's gay, and she's proud. Just go all out with it!" she said. "If you’re going to do something, do it all out:" said Tequila As for Tequila's advice, about going all out. It seems to me Lindsay's been going all out for some time. She's been going out all high on coke, she's been going out all drunk on booze, she's going all out in the familiar trappings that teenagers encounter. I think maybe it's time Lindsay stops going all out and maybe Jess settles in. Source Here


Make Movies Not Babies

They must be stopped people, they must be stopped. TMZ reports that people and OK magazine are in a bidding war for the photos of of the Brangelina twins. And apparently the bidding has reached an astronomical $15 million. 15 f***ing million dollars! I said it before folks, and I'll say it again in. This baby scam total crap has to stop. If people keep buying in these silly magazines just a sequel rules of couple little brats that are purple and Brown and pain can read whatever colors of the rainbow they come out in, and it will never end. Come on people, get with the program. Brad and Angie are actors, they should act, not mass-produce babies to earn a living. We need to be strong now people, when walking by the news stand. You might be tempted to reach for that magazine and peruse the photos, but then you would only be falling prey to the Venus flytrap that they have set. Only you can stop the madness, only you can make a difference, so you must be strong. So say it with me, and say it loud. Make movies not babies, make movies not babies make movies not babies. Source Here


I Hate You

I noticed this little article about Sienna Miller talking about things she likes to eat. And then I noticed, that I really don't like Sienna Miller much ,but maybe that's just me "I have loads of food fetishes. Pickled onion flavoured Monster Munch crisps, chicken and stuffing sandwiches, milk chocolate with salt-and-vinegar crisps in your mouth at the same time. And French fries dipped in chocolate milkshake." Your hips are getting bigger just reading that aren't they? She doesn't stop there however, she goes on to say" Rhys and I have this horrible addiction to caviar. We are junkies. I was given some seven months ago and now we have this full-on caviar habit. We do the whole works - blinis, chopped eggs, chopped red onion, sour cream. It is total bliss. Oh my god, it makes me sound so spoilt doesn't it?!" I don't know about spoiled, but the next time you're in the ladies room I think I'd make sure that there's no one in there that might have read the interview. You might end up with a tidy bowl wash to the face, or just plain get the shit beaten out of you. Because I'm sure there's lots of women who might be a tad jealous that you can stuff your face with all that crap and not gain weight, you spoiled rich ironing board bitch you. Source Here


House Calls

Kim Kardashian felt compelled to deny on her blog that her ass is enhanced by a padded underwear "OMG! When will people get off my a**e, literally!
"I have said it a million times before and I'll say it again: 'My booty is as real as the designer items I'm auctioning off on eBay'." Well Kim, people will get off your ass when you start to play a little hard to get, know what I mean. But that's a topic for another time. As for your problem about the rumors of enhancement, you just drop by my office a simple examination by yours truly would get to the bottom of things, so to speak. I would be more than happy to check out your ass and post the results of my findings on my blog to confirm or deny what is being said about you. Of course, I am an impartial observer, nothing more.... I know, I know, I know what you're thinking, but I have that covered too. I have special hand warmers, so you won't jump when I touch your ass. Oh, and I guess I should point out that some of my associates don't think your breasts are real either. Why not kill two birds with one stone. Gimme a ring a ding ding, and all make room for you. It be no problem, and I'd be happy to do it out of professional courtesy. Source Here


Poof

Here today gone tomorrow, that's what they say is an. Don't believe me, just ask Tatum O'Neal. Let this be a lesson to all you starlets out there, the road to a obscurity is usually paved with good times, bad friends, lots alcohol, and lots of drugs. Once again, if you don't believe me, just ask Tatum O'Neal.
Oscar-winning actress Tatum O'Neal, who chronicled her recovery from drug addiction in a memoir, was released on bail today on charges of buying crack on the lower East Side.
The 44-year-old daughter of actor Ryan O'Neal was nabbed after she was spotted handing money to a street dealer - three blocks from where she lives on East Broadway, police said.
Cops recovered two bags of cocaine from the actress' right front pants pocket when she was arrested around 7:30 p.m. Sunday. One minute you have a career, the next, Poof it's gone. Don't believe me, just ask Tatum. Source Here


Army Boots

It seems it's not just Tila tequila who wants Lilo to come out about her sexuality, I came across this story in my never ending search to discover the true direction Lilo swings in.
Insiders told Page Six that Lohan and OK! are in talks to do a cover where Lohan "comes out" about her relationship with gal pal Samantha Ronson, and the mag has offered her "around $1 million to do the cover." Hunph... a million bucks ain't nothing to sneeze at folks, and it seems anything Lilo does these days amounts to her being paid with something that has ice and it. Hmmm... I think for $1 million we should expect to see Lilo on the cover of OK magazine with a close cropped haircut, baggy kakhi pants, and army boots, hugging her girlfriend Sam real soon. Hey, a girl's got to drink, I mean,.. eat. Source Here


Bat Shit Crazy

Someone has stolen Kurt Cobain's ashes from Courtney Love's Hollywood home. Jeez, I hope you have papers. Anyhow, Courtney seem pretty distraught about it all “I can’t believe anyone would take Kurt’s ashes from me. I find it disgusting and right now I’m suicidal.” Sigh, I know what you're thinking folks, if she wasn't suicidal before, then what the hell was she. Misunderstood perhaps? Perhaps, but I think she's just batshit crazy. Source Here


Well that's all I got folks, I gotta go to my neighbors house. You folks should really see the tits on this mule, there friggin' huge man.


Doc B. gone baby gone.