The Crazy Ass Ex-Wives Club

Heidi Ho folks Doc B. here

I’m feeling a little under the weather today folks, I think I’ve caught the flu. It’s really dragging me down and I have so much work to do before my boss’s arrival. All the donkeys I interviewed were pathetic, they needed dozens of Viagra to perform, and don’t even get me started on the platypus’. Here’s the news.


But first…


“I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving”
“Anonymous”


Bitter Ex-Wife Part One

Well this is shaping up to be the biggest showdown since the OK corral, and that took place like, forever ago. In the red corner we have that bitter, crazy ass ex-wife Denise Richards, in the blue corner we have the lying, cheating dog of a ex-husband, Charlie Sheen. She claims her new reality show “It’s Complicated” is necessary for her to make ends meet. She made appearances on the View, Larry King Live and the Today show to promote her show. She also used the opportunity to denying she sent an e-mail asking for Charlie’s sperm. Apparently she has a tough time figuring out how to live on $52,000 a month tax-free, plus some of the earnings from Charlie’s TV show “Two And A Half Men”. And that could total as much as 25 million bucks. However will she survive? Next, she told the New York Post "For him to slam me saying I'm exploiting the kids, well, he's exploited our entire situation," Richards fumed to us yesterday. She claims Sheen obsessively sends her rage-filled text messages.
"Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he's going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold," Richards said. "His response was, 'I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.' My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis.
Hmmm…seems a tad harsh, if it’s indeed true, I trust these two about as much as I trust a crack-head with my silverware.
Then to prove her point about the sperm e-mails, Denise stated “I don't want Charlie's prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We'll leave it at that. I am so over him. He's the one who can't move on. He's disgusting and he's hit an all-time low."
That should be an interesting conversation in a few years, huh. Mommy why do the kids call me a prostitute tranny freak? They said you know what that meant. But you know, folks, I’m sure she meant that in only the most positive sense possible. But Charlie’s Rep fired back, and they are about to go all CSI on her ass. "Denise seems to be denying the existence of [the] e-mail. This goes beyond a he-said-she-said. We have an offer from a [live] TV show. They will bring a computer expert to diagnose the e-mail and to verify it was sent by her e-mail address and to verify it was neither altered nor edited. Computer DNA - it is conclusive.
So who should we believe folks, the crazy ass bitch of an ex-wife, or the lying , cheating dog of a husband.
All I can say is, God help the children Source Here


Bitter Ex-Wife Part Two

Stop me if this sounds familiar, but a crazy ass ex-wife is now promoting her new reality TV show, and the ex-husband is not liking it one bit. Michael Lohan says "I gave her the house, the furniture, the dogs, the bank accounts, the $200,000 she owed me, just to see my kids," he said. "She doesn't bring them to see me. I haven't seen my kids in two months. She brought them to Vegas for her reality show, then to California. Before that, she missed 15 out of 29 appointments. She breached the contract."
Nah, that can’t be the same woman who won Long Islands Top Mother award could it? "She went to [the] David Letterman [show]," he told us. "She brought Ali. She never showed up or sent the kids. The taping finished before our appointment. She doesn't care. She does what she wants." says Michael. Hmmm… if Denise and Dina ever teamed up for a reality show ,what a wonderful train wreck it would be.
Maybe Dina can help Denise find some good sperm, not that prostitute tranny stuff. I hear the kids turn out all freaky like. Source Here


Say What

Reports say that supermodel Naomi Campbell is to be charged for her bad behavior while flying the 38-year-old was hauled off an LA-bound flight in handcuffs at Heathrow last month after allegedly losing her temper with BA cabin crew.
this smacks of persecution I can’t imagine the lovely and talented Naomi Campbell losing her temper. This is either a case of mistaken identity or just plain racism, because this is certainly out of character for Naomi. Source Here


Sharon Stone Needs Better Treatment

It would seem that Sharon Stone needs to up her meds. While acting as an auctioneer at a charity auction Sharon made a tasteless joke at Sean Combs expense Stone hopped on Sean Combs' lap in attempt to "coax him into bidding on a Julian Schnabel portrait," reports our source. But when the mogul stopped bidding at 300,000 euros, Stone joked, "Come on, you spend more on crack."
Hmmm… maybe she needs a full-time nurse you know, to keep her properly calibrated.
Source Here


Well that’s all I got folks, now if you’ll excuse me I gotta go see if I can get the stains out of my carpet. F#@&ing donkeys.

Doc. B. Gone baby, gone.