Clay Aiken A Father… 4 Words I Never Thought I’d Read

Heidi Ho folks Doc B. here.

Well I'm back from the vet's office, it would appear I went a little too close when trimming Bruce's nails. He should be able to walk sometime next week, if the infection doesn't spread. There's actually quite a bit happening in La-la land today so why don't we get right to it. Here's the news.

But first…


"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
"Rodney Dangerfield"


Denzel To Star In The Remake Of The Bellboy

Sometimes looks can be deceiving, sure a person might strike you as graceful, athletic ,smooth, debonair, however most of the time this is not the case. Take for example Denzel Washington, I know, I know what you're thinking, you're thinking Denzel’s calm as a cucumber, as suave as the deodorant, smooth as Seacrest, cool as Carlsberg, but alas the truth is somewhere in between. The "American Gangster" star ordered some bubbly at Rivington 151 the other night. "And the server couldn't open it, so Denzel tried," said our onlooker. "He couldn't open it either, but when he handed it back, the cork popped right in the server's face.
And that was just the beginning of the mayhem. In a hurry to help out the waiter and Denzel reached for an ice bucket, knocking it over onto the lap of some poor schmo at the next table. Realizing he had made a mess of things, he bent down to pick up the ice on the floor before someone stepped on it. The waiter, feeling embarrassed to see such a high profile guest on his hands and knees on the floor, urged Denzel to get up. Which he did, striking the waiter right under to chin with his head, knocking him out cold. The waiter collapsing onto the table next to him, hitting only the edge of the table which sent the food flying into the air. And then Denzel in his rush to aid the fallen waiter, tripped on the very ice he had been picking up. He feet kicked out forward, high into the air, as he became vertical traveling a good fight feet before crashing into the dessert cart. It was awful, the place looked like a war zone, women were crying, men were crying, the staff was crying. As for Denzel, he at least managed to leave the restaurant without setting himself on fire while walking by the crème brûlée.
It's funny how we build up a certain image of people in our minds, yet so seldom do they live up to our expectations. My guess is the moral ofthis story is, when it comes to your expectations of celebrities you might want to lower the bar, because God knows when you meet a celeb any thoughts or expectations you had will be crushed like the condom in the wallet of Ruben Studdard's back pocket. Source Here


You Ever Been Hit By A Connoli Doing 80 MPH?

Did you know that Misha Barton is in a new movie directed by Roland Joffe, which was shown at Cannes, but Misha was a no-show for to promotions. Now the film and its producers are in London to drum up interest and yet Misha is still doing a remarkable impersonation of Claude Raines. Joffé told BBC Radio 1 host Natalie Jamieson, "She hasn't pulled out of interviews, she's pulled out of everything . . . Her room is here, she is here, but trying to get the two together has just been impossible. We just don't know where Mischa is."
Where's Misha, where has she gone, where can she be. Alas, fear not fanatics for Bubbahump is here, and he knows what is happening to our little Misha. Poor girl, she just happened to be at the same restaurant as Denzel Washington when he crashed into the dessert cart. A terrified and shaken Misha is holed up in a London hospital after an emergency procedure was performed to remove four Ladyfingers and one rather large cannoli. No word yet on when she'll be released from intensive care. On the plus side I hear Denzel sent her a Wal-Mart gift card good for $50 on anything in the store,for when she gets out of the hospital. Hmmm... Denzel's wrath is inescapable .Almost as much as his frugality. Source Here


Use And Abused, Tossed Out And Turfed Like A Piece Of Garbage

Wow, what a surprise, what a complete and utter shock. I'm flabbergasted, I mean I had no idea, I need to sit down. OK now I'm sitting and I hope you are too. You ready, here goes, really big news. You sure you're sitting down, OK, OK, here's the big surprise- Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz have made it official: Yes, they're expecting a baby. Calm down now, relax, take it easy, for there is nothing we can do. Relax, take it easy. Blame it on me or blame it on you. Well you can't blame me because I warned you. Now I know this is unexpected but you have to learn to take these things in stride. Celebrities like to be in the news, so they spread out this stuff so their faces can be on the covers of magazines for months.
we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child," said a statement Wednesday on Wentz's blog.
Ah, I see the shock has worn off and now you've moved on to anger. And you have reason to be angry. Their publicists, their friends, they themselves have not been honest with you. They kept saying no, no, no, there's no baby. Believe us. Trust us. And most important, watch us, read about us, fantasize being like us. Hmmm... now I know you're feeling shitty seven ways from Sunday [what the hell does that mean anyways] but you need to learn the game. It's all about exposure and maximizing exposure, and then translating that exposure into dollars. Not once, not one freaking time did your feelings ever cross their tiny little minds. I know the truth hurts but someone had to tell you. Now go drink a glass of milk and lie down, you'll feel better in the morning. Doctor's orders. Source Here


You’re Shitin’ Me Right?

Never let it he said that I Dr. BubbaHump, does not have integrity. When I am wrong folks, well then I'm just plain wrong, and it appears this time I was wrong. I must apologize, issue a retraction, make amends, do a mea culpa, my bad. Many times on this very blog site, I have besmirched the name of Clay Aiken, I have wronged him, nay, I have slandered him. However, I'm a big enough man to own up to my mistakes. [Sigh] so here goes, Clay is ga.. Wait let me start over, Clay is a frui.. wait, stop. I'll try again Clay is a Homosex.. wait, stop again. All right, all right, for real this time. Clay is going to be a father.... Hello, you still listening, I wasn't kidding, it's no joke. Humph.. you still don't believe me, then read this. Clay Aiken is going to be a father, TMZ.com reports. That's right: The "American Idol" runner-up-turned-"Spamalot" star is expecting a child. Who's the lucky lady? Jaymes Foster, a record producer and Aiken's BFF.
Foster is in her late 40s and was artificially inseminated, the site says. Aiken reportedly plans to chip in and help raise the lil' one.
OMG, I never read past the first line. Artificially inseminated! You know what that means, don't you. It means the weenie never went into the bun, so there's no mayo on the ovaries manually delivered by Clay. You know what else this means, it means I retract my apology. I knew I was right about him. Liberace had more machismo in his little pinky then this fruit fly. Source Here


I Could Be Hurtful, I Could Be Purple

It never fails, there's always someone who thinks they can turn vinegar into wine. It's quite common in baseball, there's always some manager who believes that they can turn around a player's career, and the same holds true in Hollywood. Rumors are swirling that Britney Spears will find her way onto network TV next fall Spears had a meeting Wednesday with a big time producer about possible TV projects, TMZ.com reports. Brit would star in and possibly produce a show.
Sources told the site that the singer and her posse had a "serious" meeting with Roy Bank, president of Merv Griffin Entertainment, to discuss a move to the small screen. Among other ideas, the concept of a music show was thrown around. Oh shit! No singing! She’s trying to revive her career, how is this going to help. If she opens her mouth and that crap she calls music comes out of it, people will be turning the channel pretty fast. No, no, no, in my opinion they should cast Britney as a deaf mute who solves crimes with the help of her little dog Pippi. It be huge! Huge, I tells you! I know what people want. And Britney singing is not what people want. Which seems to me should be self evident by now. What! You think I'm just being nasty now don't you, well I can be whatever I want.
**I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!
Hey where you going, I was just kidding. I suppose if someone told you to light your pants on fire you’d do that too, wouldn't you? Source Here (**Grace Kelly By Mikka)


Well that's all I feel like today folks, I gotta go dig up a bone for Bruce in the backyard, he says he's too sore to do it. Big wimp!

Doc B. gone baby gone