Paris Talks Trash, Sly Spits Out His Skittles

Pssst, hi folks, Doc. B. here.

I’m still in hiding, I’m afraid to go home. Bruce my dog brings me what he can for me to eat, but I’m becoming weary of used gum and cigarette butts. I asked Bruce if anyone suspicious looking came to check the meter. He replied “what’s a meter” Damm, stalemate. I don’t know if I can go on much longer. Still, I found away to post. Here’s the news

But first…

“Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember somebody got tired of her.”
“Anonymous”


Paris Talks, Unfortunately

It’s always the jealous ones, huh? Paris takes a swipe at Jessica’s, the heiress has had a pop at busty rival JESSICA SIMPSON, claiming the Dukes Of Hazzard star's assets are "too big". She said: "I like how mine are, I don't like big boobs. "I think they're too ... big." Big, yes that always the first word that pops into my head when asked to describe large, abundant, plentiful, massive, bountiful, enormous, huge breast. However, my brain automatically say’s “try again”. And I move on the next appropriate adjective. Paris didn’t stop at Jessica’s boobs though. She went on to describe Kim Kardashian’s ample derriere this way
"It's disgusting. It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag."
You know there’s something to be said about cottage cheese, but I digress. Me thinks Paris protests too much. Source Here


Hurricane Heather Wreaks Havoc In Vegas

Heather Mills, Paul McCartneys ex-shrew has worn out her welcome already, Donald Trump (never one to let pass an opportunity, good or bad) hired Mills for no apparent reason to judge the Miss USA pageant (he must of hated the Beatles, probably a big Neal Sedaka fan) Hurricane Heather argued with the show’s producers over money.
Audience members loudly booed and hissed when Mills was introduced as a judge for the show at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Vegas. But the real problem came behind the scenes, where, for three weeks prior, Mills refused to sign a contract stating the show could be rebroadcast.
"She flat out refused because of one line," said an insider. "They went back and forth rewriting and finally threatened to pull her from it altogether. She still wouldn't sign it because she wants to get paid if they resell the footage. Her ego is enormous, and it's getting bigger by the minute."
The independent contractors who booked Mills promised they'd never work with the gold-digging former nudie model again, according to our insider.
"She believed that if the show got high ratings, it would be because of her," said our source. "She treated this like she was starring in a big-budget movie."
Does she actually think anyone cares who the judges are on this show. People watch to see girls in the itsy bitsy bikini. Not to watch the talent segment (which ironically proves the lack of any.), not to watch the evening gown presentation, and most certainly not to hear their positions on education or South Africa. But I know. I’m positive. I’m absolutely certain it’s not the panel of judges that people tune in to see. Are’nt there immigration laws that can be enforced to safeguard the nation from this walking, talking natural disaster. In her wake, nothing is left unscathed. Stay tuned to your radio, the hurricane may be blowing your way next. Source Here


SPANDEX DREAMS

Patrick Dempsey likes a tight fit, it would seem, wearing Spandex pants when he cycles around his Los Angeles neighborhood. "I get a lot of crap for it. In Hollywood circles, certainly, but my wife laughs at me as I walk out in my garb," the "Grey's Anatomy" star confesses in next month's Bicycling magazine. "So I get a hard time in the house, and then I go out and the paparazzi give it to me, too."
I once wore spandex pants. They were so tight, I could hang up my car keys. Anyhow, the priest told me not to sit in the front row anymore when in church. (I think my keys distracted him). Source Here


Naomi Campbell: Saving The World

The ever graceful and kind Naomi Campbell is over in Brazil risking life and limb. Is it on the front page of the Entertainment News? Nope. But one little problem with a servant or a hostile airline, and it’s a big deal. Let me then, trumpet loud and proud all the good work and goodwill that Naomi does.
She flew to Brazil Monday night to help in the battle against an epidemic of dengue fever, a deadly mosquito-born disease. Campbell will appear at a blood center to raise awareness.
So far, dengue has infected 55,000 people, killing 67.
At least in Brazil, there are no white honky’s around to oppress the lovely and charming Ms Campbell. This poor woman just doesn’t get the respect she deserves. Honestly, it’s criminal. Source Here


Sylvester Stallone Hates Skittles

Sly was hanging around the courthouse, performing his civic duty, when the vending machine decided to pick a fight with the champ. Sly had put money in the machine to buy some M&M’S, but the machine tried to screw the action hero, switching his M&M’s into the icky sweet Skittles. Realizing that he received a bag of Skittles, (Skittles are for girls, and Clay Aiken) the action star blew a fuse.
He "immediately got pissed off" at the candy machine, a witness told TMZ.com He exclaimed "Oh s--t" when he didn't get the treat he wanted.
Sly later got his revenge. He blackened his face, and changed into his camouflage gear. There, silently in the bushes he waited until dark to wreak havoc upon his enemy. The vending machine never saw the bamboo spear trap that Sly had set. Once impaled in the spears, Sly pounced on his prey. It wasn’t pretty. Glass strewn everywhere, oil blackening the pavement, and candy crushed into dust. Oh the horror! Incidentally, Sly got his dollar back. All’s well, that ends well. In my world at least. Source Here


Well that’s all. I gotta go find a toothpick or something. The gum Bruce brought me is full of gravel, and it’s sticking to my fillings.

Doc. B. Gone baby, gone.