Britney's Make-up + BONUS: Ivanka's Boobies

Hi folks, Doc B here, can’t talk now. I’m posting from a secret location. I think the FBI is staking out my house. This must be Antonio’s doing. (Whispering.) here’s the news

But first…


“Forty isn’t old, if you’re a tree”
“Anonymous”


Ivanka’s Wedding: Boobs Abound

Dear readers. I know that sometimes I exaggerate and resort to hyperbole, or sensationalism. Other times I flat out make shit up. Yesterday, I wrote a post called “B-Listers On Parade”, which revealed the guest list to this years White House Correspondents Dinner. I made a joke out of the invitees, and then made up a list of celebs who supposedly declined. They included George Hamilton, Carmen Electra, Shannon Doherty, and Ron Jeremy. That list I made up. The guest list to Ivanka Trumps wedding is pure comedy gold. You can’t make this stuff up. And now without further ado (or exaggeration) heres Ivanka’s guest list.
Neal Sedaka serenaded the couple as guests, including Brigitte Nielsen, George Hamilton, Dr. Ruth Westheimer and Robin Leach, danced beneath crystal chandeliers.
I told you. Gold! Not B-listers. Nope. C-listers, c-list celebs everyone of them. (My apologies to the wonderfully classy Neal Sedaka) What,did Coolio, Judge Judy, and Phyllis Diller have better things to do, but I digress. This being a Trump affair, one would expect something very expensive, but at the same time gaudy and over the top and classy (Just kidding, I meant Classless)
The 12-foot-tall wedding cake weighed 770 pounds, took four months to make and was imported from Germany.
Sounds expensive huh. But wait there is more. Donald Jr. took the microphone at one point during the reception and toasted the happy (!?) couple. Donald Jr. made a veiled threat (veiled !?) to the groom suggesting "You better treat her right, because I have a .45 and a shovel.” and "We are a construction company and we have job sites, we lose people,"
I’m sure he was kidding but, this being a Trump affair, I still would watch my back (Beware of the teamsters) Donald Jr. also made some comments about Ivanka’s breasts, flattering comments, I guess, but creepy nonetheless.I hope the groom didn’t have the same image I did, of Donald Jr. sitting in mommy’s lap, playing with her lovely boobies, while she scolds him for using the wire hangers again when hanging up his coat. I digress. In a nutshell (nuthouse!) a good time was surely had by all. Only in New York . I tells you. Source Here


BABY SCAM ALERT

There’s rumours that Ashlee Simpson may be pregnant (something in the friggin water in LA. Call “C.S.I”) so reports the “The nydailynews.com”, at least. If this turns out to be true, I’m positive this is another case of a baby-for-photo-money-scam again. Oohh, she’s a smart one that Ashlee Simpson. She’s trying to pop a baby out before the baby photo market becomes saturated and the bottom falls out. I said it before, I’ll say it again. They must be stopped. They should earn their millions performing or somethin, not for making babies. What are you waiting for people. For some other celeb to cash in, huh. The next time, it could be Paris Hilton. Then all hell would break loose. Then what will we do? (SAVE US SUPERMAN).


Who’s Mika Who???

Apparently British singer Mika is suing Belgium singer Mika for trying to sue British Mika from using Belgium Mika’s name ( he had it first, apparently).

The judge threw out Belgium Mika’s case but British Mika wasn’t satisfied. So, British Mika is countersuing Belgium Mike. If this all seems a little confusing, you’re welcome. Source Here


Britney’s Beauty Tips For The Car Driver

So Britney was using the rearview mirror of her car to apply makeup while in traffic. I got to say, that totally makes sense. Of course Britney smashed into the other car, because some one forgot to tell her that the mirrors are to be used for navigating traffic. Not touch-ups. At least she didn’t do something out of character. This is exactly what I expect of Britney. Quite Frankly, America expects this from Britney. God Bless her for not letting us, and America down. And, Britney, if you read this, one piece of advice LOOK OUT, RED LIGHT. Hahahahah… Psyche! Source Here

Well that’s it folks. I gotta go see a man about a new identity

Doc. B. Gone baby gone