Paris Desperate For Friends, Poison Drummer's New GiG

Greeting and salutations,

Doc. B. here, and I'm feeling fine. Driving in my car today I was listening to my local sports talk AM radio station, The Team 990 and P.J. Stock had me in stitches. He was playing old 80's (classic's??) music like Starship (ICK), Def Leppard (Yahh!) and even Michael Jackson (uggh… sorry I'll pick that right up, where's the mop) He even played song's you never admit to listening or else losing cred. Like Homer Simpson's favorite song. C'mon, you know it. That's right, "It's raining men" anyhoo, all this crazy music and P.J.'s goofy antic's made me laugh thinking about how ridiculous some of the 80's musical style's were. Then, I look at my MSN and first story I notice involves Poison's drummer. Wham! I tell ya, I got some good Karma happening all day today. After I finish this post I think I'll watch one of my favorite movies from the 80's. Evil Dead II (Toolshed!). Thanks for reading, hope good karma's paying you a visit, because I think bad karma has befallen Rikki Rocket of Poison, there's some "Prison Break" news as well. All just below. Let's move on shall we.

But first…

If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you.


Every Rose Has a Ream

Rikki Rocket, (what a stupid name) drummer for the 80's rock group "Poison", has been arrested for rape. Rikki's real name is Richard Ream (Oh, I Can See Clearly Now) and if he's found guilty, one can only pray there's no old magazine's like "Tiger Beat" still in the prison library. (If they aren't already on someone's cell wall) because Rikki sure has a pretty mouth in those old photo's. Hey it was the 80's, big hair, lot's of spandex pants with potatoes stuffed in the front, and of course lot's, and lot's of hooker-trash make up on their faces. If Rikki doe's do jail time, one only hopes the first word's out of his cellmate's mouth isn't "Talk Dirty To Me". (then, maybe we'll cuddle) Hmm… You don't think the inmate's or guards will give Rikki a hard time do you, with a name like Ream (think of possibilities) hopefully Rikki's day's in prison are well spent by repenting for his (alleged) crime. Hey, with all that time on his hands maybe he'll come to truly understand why the "Cowboy Sings A Sad, Sad Song." Hang in there Rikki, all your fan's are behind you (when I say behind you, I mean in your past. Just keeping it real)
Source: http://music.sympatico.msn.ca


Paris Seek's BFF (Not Named Nicole)

" I Wanna Be Paris Hilton's BFF" It's a new M.T.V. reality show with Paris, and they're looking for a "hot bitch. If this is something that pique's your interest, see if you match any of the criteria on the checklist below

1) Your name is not Nicole Richie.
2) You are pretty, but generic + bland.
3) Have been photographed wasted.
4) Pontificate on subject's completely foreign to you (including pontificate).
5) Your life's ambition is to be famous.
6) Have trouble getting out of cars without exposing yourself.
7) You have no discernable talent.
8) Your name is not Lindsay Lohan.
9) Have your own sex tape on the web.

If you have checked off four or more, congratulations, you have a real chance of making this show and earning my eternal friendship. Try out by email Parisbffcasting@gmail.com
Source: http://www.usmagazine.com

Drew Reboot's

Drew Barrymore seem's to be getting serious with this Justin Long fella. I hope It work's out, they seem like a nice couple. Justin was in "Live Free And Die Hard", but you probably know him best from those cute "I'm a Mac" commercials. I tried to get a comment from his partner in those spot's, P.C. unfortunately. P.C. had to shutdown and was unable to comment.

If you are born ugly blame your parents, if you died ugly blame your doctor


Jessica Lange's Not Plastic.

A story at the http://www.startribune.com suggests actress Jessica Lange may have had plastic surgery. A spokewoman for Lange said "It's a absolutely not true" Perhaps Lange could have answered for herself, but apparently the tightness of the skin around her mouth allows her only the ability to grunt. When, I asked her to blink with her eye's in morse code, her head exploded so I was unable to get a solid answer.


Found: A Head

Sarah Wayn Callies is set to be in nest season's "Prison Break". Sarah played Michael's love interest on the show untill her head showed up in a box. I guess it wasn't her head. I guess it was Jessica Lange's. (I love it when all the loose ends get tied up).
http://tvguide.sympatico.msn.ca


Well that's all I got for now folks, I gotta go shave my cat before I watch Evil Dead (Don't judge, it's a tradition) As Bruce would say, "Swallow This."

Doc. B. Offline