Karma Is A Bitch/When Surfers Attack… Run Away.

Heidi Ho folks Doc B. here.

I no longer know what day it is, I only know I want this ordeal to end. Isn't there anyone out there who can save me? What I need right now is a hero? I'm holding out for a hero. Here's the news.

But first…

“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans”
“George Carlin”


Any Day Now

It looks like Amy Winehouse 's scheduled performance at the Nelson Mandela birthday celebration is to be her last. Or should I say, probably will be. Although there are conflicting reports, the general consensus is that Amy has been diagnosed with emphysema. So naturally she was pictured having a smoke not hours after being released from the hospital. Soon there is going to be a picture of her in the dictionary next to the word stupid. She should just get help now, because there is no way she can fulfill the old adage of leaving behind a good-looking corpse thank you very much. That bridge has already been crossed, and burned thank you very much. May as well try and get better and buckle up for the long haul, I say. Unfortunately, clear and reflective thinking does not appear to be one of her qualities so all bets are off. Source Here


And Those Surfers in Point Break Were Pussies

"This was about us against the system. That system that kills the human spirit. We stand for something. We are here to show those guys that are inching their way on the freeways in their metal coffins that the human sprit is still alive. Don't worry about this guy, okay? I know exactly what to do with him" (Patrick Swayze; Point Break).
It seems some paparazzi learned the hard way not to invade surfers on their turf, because we all know they can be very territorial. It seems a major fracas ensued on a Malibu Beach when some photographers were trying to get some pics of Matthew McConaughey surfing. One website compared it to Benny Hill skit. Jeez, I'm sorry I missed that, I just love the French maid costumes the women in those skits are always dressed in. Funny. However the way it is described in this story it sounds like a meeting between the Jets versus the Sharks, cue the orchestra.Postulating and guzzling beer, the rowdy surfers aggressively approached the paps and told them to leave the beach.
When the paps insisted they were "just doing their jobs", the surf dudes opted for an all-out smackdown and went in for the kill.
One pap's nose was broken, while another was tossed into some rocks and had his camera smashed, according to videos captured by TMZ.com and X17.com. Ah yes, what is it the wise Bohdi say's about fear and intimidation. I think it goes something like this, "It's basic dog psychology, if you scare them and get them peeing down their leg, they submit. But if you project weakness, that promotes violence, and that's how people get hurt". Ah yes the tried and true code of the surfers, one never can follow the wrong path when sticking to the code. And it appears that's simply what the surfers did folks, they applied to code and the paparazzi back down like little scared dogs leaving a trail of piss behind them as they run away. Said one of the paps"This looks nasty," . Well sure it looks nasty, how do you think your hair would look after being in the ocean with that harsh salt water covering your hair, the sun baking it into another color and making it all dry and straw-like. You would think it looks pretty nasty too. But what remains clear about this story is at the paparazzi were simply no match for a surfers. They neither had the will, nor the nerve, to occupy a part of that beach. So they may as well be off into their metal coffins and hit the freeway, for they were surely outmatched on this day. They didn't want it enough. They were willing to pay the price they get their pictures, and when it comes time for a cosmic convergence, their karma's will come up wanting. But why don't I let Bohdi tell it. "If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love". That's really deep dude, that's like, poetic. Source Here and Here


Bad Boys, Bad Boys. Whatcha Going To Do?

Actor Shia LaBeouf continues to build on his reputation of being Hollywood's next bad boy, case in point. The National Enquirer reports,LaBeouf was at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum in Washington, D.C., filming a new movie, when he reportedly lit up a cigarette in the bathroom, the Enquirer reported.
Sources told the magazine that LaBeouf was reprimanded by officials at the museum for the incident. The Enquirer claims the actor was told he could be kicked off the property if he lit up again. Hmmm... kicked off the property eh! That ought to teach in the little bastard huh! If he keeps up this crazy behavior be lucky to find work, Hollywood doesn't like troublemakers. Just ask Robert Downy Jr. Hmmm… Never mind. Source Here


The Stitch Work Is Simply Divine

Have you seen those ads with David Beckham for Emporio Armani underwear yet? Apparently the new design of underwear by Armani is absolutely fabulous and to die for, but all everyone seems to want to talk about is Beckham's...eh.. package. Or lack there of, or enhancement of, however you want to spin it. It seems some cracker jack journalist at the Daily Mail has uncovered some... dirty laundry, so to speak.The Daily Mail uncovered a photo of Becks on the beach sporting a similar look. The surfside shot, taken in 2006, features the L.A. Galaxy player in a white bikini with one notable difference from the Armani pics — the fabric appears less, um, inflated.
The paper offered a side-by-side comparison and speculated that the difference could be the result of digital manipulation, but a spokesperson for David denies the claim. Actually, I think the Daily Mail is making a big deal out of nothing really . I mean we've already covered this ground haven't we, scientifically speaking that is. There's a technical term for it. Shrinkage. George Costanza first popularized the phrase on the TV show Seinfeld. It's quite a normal phenomenon really. It happens, you know. It's not like we control what's going on down there, is it. A representative for Beckham felt compelled to reply.
“There wasn't any enhancement to that said region,” the rep insisted. See folks, no medical procedures. It's all done with mirrors, mirrors I tell you. Let's move on. Source Here


At Least He Does It On The Newspaper.

It seems singer Mariah Carey has her new puppy...eh.. hubby housebroken and obedient already. Why else would his friends say that their marriage is already on the rocks? They're just trying to muck up the works, to have things the way he used to be, before Mariah laid down the law.
The source told Life and Style Weekly magazine: “I give the marriage six months, tops. I can’t see it lasting. (That's like 3 1/2 years in dog years, that's not bad for a celebrity marriage)
“Nick does whatever Mariah wants him to - he’s like her puppy. It seems like he spends more time in the stores with Mariah’s credit card than he does with Mariah herself. Hmmm... if the roles were reversed, would anyone be questioning whether to marriage would last? I mean, in this case Nick appears to be the trophy husband, as opposed to the trophy wife. He's out having a good time on her credit card, not having to work. I ask you, what's wrong with that?
“Mariah’s assistants and friends call him ‘Whipped Nick’ behind his back. They have little respect for him because he won’t stand up for himself.” Humph... a likely story if you ask me. What's more likely is that her friends and assistance are just jealous and wish they had a guy like Nick to boss around. Because isn't that every woman's perfect man, one that does whatever she says, without question. As a matter of fact it wouldn't surprise me in the least if one of these so called friends of hers tries to get in between Nick and Mariah. A friend of Nick's quickly shot down the accusation though, "insisting Nick and Mariah are perfect for each other". Well of course they are, he's spineless, and she's needy.A match made in heaven, if you ask me. Source Here


No Kidding
Say what?
"Celine Dion's version of 'You Shook Me All Night Long' has obviously shaken voters, who named it the world's worst cover song in the latest issue of Total Guitar, a European rock magazine". They actually had to put this to a vote? Seems kind of redundant doesn't it? Source Here


Don't Start The Revolution Without Me

After Martha Stewart's visa was denied by UK authorities, it was to be expected that the U.S. would retaliate.
"U.S. Customs is denying Boy George his visa, cutting off his hopes for a U.S. tour." BAM!!!
Take that you lousy wankers! That stinging sensation you feel in the seat of your pants is from getting kicked in it by good old American shoe leather! (Actual shoe made in China). And that's just the start, wait until they get their hands on Helen Mirren. Oh yeah folks! The gloves are definitely on. We're talking full body extra ream cavity search. Extreme, I meant extreme not ream. But now that the Americans are pissed, anything's possible. I wouldn't want to be Piers Morgan going through airport security right now... brrrrr! I anxiously await Britain's next move. I'll keep you informed. Source Here


Karma Damage

Speaking of Piers Morgan, he claims to have introduced Paul McCartney to Hurricane a Heather Mills. "Paul asked who she was after seeing her give a speech," Morgan told Howard Stern on his Sirius radio show yesterday. "I introduced them. I'm not sure if Paul knew that she was missing a leg at the time."
Morgan said he had no idea Mills would turn out to be a "grasping, gold-digging little bimbo . . . I was fooled into thinking that she was a good person,". No shit Sherlock, what was your first clue? Humph... he's got a lot to work ahead of him to repair the damage he's done to his karma. But you can't really blame him, she's pure evil. She can easily manipulate the weak minded and the naïve, which Piers clearly is. Still, he brought all this upon a Beatle and the British still hold them in high esteem. Come to think of it, I don't think I'd want to be Piers Morgan going through airport security in the UK either. He appears to be a man without a homeland. Just like Tom Hanks in "The Terminal", only funnier.
Of course peers is one of the celebrity judges on America's got talent, along with Sharon Osbourne and the Hoff, David Hasselhoff. As a matter of fact Piers calls fellow judge Hasselhoff, a "tool." (Sigh) no shit Sherlock, what was your first clue. Morgan said they often have to wear the same clothes for continuity on the show, but Hasselhoff doesn't seem to care.
"One day, he went out and got a spray tan in the middle of the shoot, so it looks like he tanned during a commercial break,". Hmmm... well what else are you going to do during a commercial break silly. You've got to realize that the Hoff has a certain eccentric kind of reputation to maintain. And maintain it he will, dammit! So just lay off, you limey bastard! Hmmm... I hope your visa is in order buddy. You mock the Hoff, and you can expect men in suits to show up at your door to find out , you effeminate redcoat jerk off. Better watch what you say , Uncle Sam is listening. Source Here


A Great Barbecue Chicken Recipe And Kate's Abortion, After Al Tells Us About The Weather.

And finally comes a report about a TV morning show that apparently is avoiding the tough questions when celebrities appear. TV insiders have noticed a pattern of softball questioning in the interviews at "Good Morning America." Hmmm... yes because in between what not to wear, the weather, and new barbecue recipes , what I really want is truthful answers to hard hitting questions. And when I'm looking for answers I turn to "Good Morning America". Don't we all? Source Here


R.I.P.
And finally, sad news. George Carlin has died. In my mind he'll be remembered as the greatest standup comedian ever. Not only did he make you laugh, he made you reflect. His was a gift.
“Always do whatever's next”
George Carlin


That's it that's all folks I gotta go. There's nothing I can do anymore except put my faith in the Lord and the 72 virgins.

Doc B. Gone baby gone.