Brangelina Babies Aducted by Aliens ?/Gay Men and Their Legumes

Heidi Ho folks Doc B. here

I'm staying in Bjork's hotel, she was kind enough to offer. She tells me I've been through quite an ordeal. Funny thing though, I hardly remember anything. Bjork tells me we can't go to my house because it's being watched. So I've been in bed all day watching pay-per-view, enjoying room service and pretty much just chillin'. Bjork had to attend some function so I have the place all to myself. Hmmm... maybe I'll get a massage. Or a pedicure. I can't decide. Anyhow here's the news.

But first…

“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.”
“George Carlin”


A Serious Bang, Followed By Obsession

After reading story after story about celebrities selling their babies photos, or their wedding pictures, or vid-caps of their circumcision.( well only Mickey Rourke so far) It's nice to come across a story where they don't want money for their photos. The reality TV show The Two Corey's will become especially revealing in an upcoming episode. Actor Corey Feldman's wife, Susie will have her Playboy cover shoot featured. Of course Cory, having his priorities in order, was moved and honored that his wife would be in the pages of Playboy. Says Cory, "When Hugh Hefner asked us himself, it was very moving,” Corey tells In Touch. “Hef has been a friend for a long time — he was at our wedding. It was hard to say no.” Hmmm... let's have a glance at my priorities list... check... check... check... check. OK then, I'm good.
“Being that it was art, we didn’t want to make it a business thing,” explains Corey. “So she basically did it for free. Free huh! Now I'm moved. It warms my heart to know that there are still good, and decent people out there who know what's right, and what's important in life. Living life to the fullest (and free porn). So you may be asking yourself, is Corey happy with the photo shoot?I’m very proud,” he says. “She’s a beautiful girl and deserves to be worshipped!” Whoa.. whoa.. whoa!
Worship?! Well I don't know about that. Worship takes quite a commitment. How about I start just with ogling first? Then maybe slowly I could move on to wanting to seriously bang her. And with a little luck, I'll become obsessed. Then! Then maybe we'll talk about worship. But slowdown Cory, let's not put the horse before the cart. Source Here


Where The F**K Are The Babies!

There are so many rumors floating around out there, about Angelina Jolie's babies. They've been born, they haven't been born, been kidnapped, they've been abducted by aliens. It's hard to know what to believe anymore, isn't it? I've been so anxious about it that I haven't been able to sleep properly (although my abduction could have something to do with that too) but today I came across a photo of her and I finally got my answer. She still pregnant. I peed myself when I saw the photo (I told you I was anxious). Over at the In Touch Weekly website they have a helicopter photo of Angie outside of her house looking like she is very much with child, several in fact. Her stomach is that freaking big! it's not normal, it's creepy looking.She looks like Tyne Daly! You couldn't pay me to touch it... brrrr! Anyhow the point is, if you've been sitting on pins and needles like I have, you now have your answer. The cigars have not been passed out yet. And so we must wait.(pause) How long has it been? Let me refresh.... damn nothing new. (Yawn) I'm really tired... dammit Angie, just have the freaking babies why don't you, so we can all get some f***ing rest! .............. Shit! It happened again! I need to go change.


Hey Good Looking! You Like Beans?

Filmmaker David Furnish describes a perfect evening with his partner Sir Elton John.
“What we really enjoy doing and what we will need is a quiet night in. Our favourite thing in the world is to get the box-set of Sex and the City or Six Feet Under and watch six episodes on the trot while eating beans on toast. That, for us, is heaven.” Heyyy... what are they? Gay?... (awkward pause) oh yeah, forgot. My bad. Still, who eats beans on toast anyways? I guess gay men do. Learn something new everyday, hmmm. Source Here


Ohhh... I Can't Find The Vein. Stupid Patches!

There's perhaps, finally some hope in the Amy Winehouse saga. It seems she's decided she's giving up smoking , with a little help of course.The Back To Black star has covered herself in the plasters in an effort to stop puffing.
We're told: "Amy's been advised to give up to have any chance of cleaning her lungs.
"But it's the pleading from Mitch which has really helped.
"She's covered herself in nicotine patches as she's desperate to preserve her voice and is promising to clean up her act." Hmmm... shouldn't someone be monitoring her. It can't be wise to put so many patches on your body. What dosage are these patches anyways? What? No one knows? Who's in charge here?..........(silence! ) Oh great, she'll probably drop dead of a nicotine induced heart attack. Brother! If it's not one thing with this girl it's another. She's such a long shot, that I don't think Vegas is accepting any wagers. She still is scheduled to perform at the Nelson Mandela 90th birthday concert tomorrow. God willing. Source Here


Exclusive: The 10 Best Ways To Please Your Dwarf

Over at TMZ, the identity of Vernon Troyer's costar in that sex tape of his has been revealed. She's a 22-year-old aspiring model from Kentucky.(Did you hear that? The whole state just groaned in unison.) She has a little white dog named Lacey who is the real love in her life. Oh, and has an affinity for little people.
Little people? Is that the proper terminology? Weren't we just having this conversation yesterday folks? Yes I recall, I was searching for the politically correct name for little elves.. er... dwarves... (???) Trolls??! Ah forget it! There's probably not much to see on the tape anyhow. Wait... that didn't come out right. I meant it's probably a short film,.. not worth watching...er... I' Aww ...skip it!( P.S.,there’s no dwarf list,sorry to deceive you.) TMZ.com


Well that's all folks, I gotta go. There's a knock at my door. It must be the tailor... he's late.

Doc B. Gone baby gone.