Lindsay’s Mom Dina Honoured, Nobel Prize Sure To Follow

Heidi-Ho folks Doc. B. here,

Antonio and Lance are back. And so’s my car. It cost me 400.00$ for the towing, so am a little cranky today. I’m hoping to make back some of the money when I sell Antonio’s strippers pole. I have a potential buyer coming over to look at it. I think she said her name was Bubble’s. Anyhow here’s the news.

But first…

“When it comes to having a central nervous system, and the ability to feel pain, hunger, and thirst, a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy.”
“Ingrid Newkirk”


They’re On Staff, Just Like In Ratatouille

The always interesting John Leguizamo rattled on about his time working at KFC. “He said he was in charge of bringing the chickens up from the basement . . . There were two rats in the basement, and John said he befriended and had a name for each of them."
That’s right, Ripley and Hudson are their names. They come over every Easter with John. They’re very well behaved, as rats go. Source Here


Why Don’t We Give Her The Nobel Prize While We’re At It

I nearly died when I read this story this morning. Seriously folks, if my dog Bruce hadn’t taken that St-Johns Ambulance course, I would have perished. Death by Lucky Charms ironically enough.
With Mother's Day just around the corner, the Mingling Moms Organization just released their 2008 Top 20 Long Island Mothers of Celebrities, whose famous - and some infamous - children include Lindsay Lohan, Jerry Seinfeld, Natalie Portman.
Hmmm… so let’s see now. Using Lilo as an example of the result of good parenting should set the bar low enough that a crack whore who abandons her child in a public wastebasket, would be commended for not littering. It makes you wonder what Lindsay would have had to have done for Dina to lose out on this. Boil kittens and serve them to unsuspecting school children. Maybe Lilo needs to caught on tape standing on a street corner telling men passing by, “Ohh me so horny, I love you really long time, sucky, sucky, you want some. 5 dollars.” Cheap. Ok maybe that’s going a wee bit too far.
And how did Michael Jackson not get an honourable mention. Oh yeah he’s not a Long Island resident… I hear ya groaning, but I bet his kids call him mommy. Seriously folks, if your kids been caught on tape drinking, passed out, naked, drug binging, talking to the sausage, arrested and you’re still honoured as a top notch parent. Write a how-to book all about it. It’ll be a best seller baby, I can smell it! Source Here


My Big Fat Christian Complex

Now, I’ve never liked Elizabeth Hasslebeck, she always really annoyed me. But at least now I know what annoys her. "I came to grips with my bum. Before, I always tied a shirt around my waist when I went for a run. It was ridiculous." She goes on, “I've got a bubble butt, but I don't mind, because it's what powers me forward when I run." Silly me I always thought it was the legs. So now we know what bothers her.
So does Elizabeth Hasslebutt sound good to you. Me too. We should develop a site that focuses solely on her big ass. Pictures taken from behind, so we can highlight the enormity of her Ba-donka-donk, and we could all snicker at her big fat complex. It’s just a thought. Source Here


It Was The Lead In His Ass That Slowed Fiddy Down

50 Cent ripped off by a fan while performing in Luanda. It's not known exactly how much the jewellery was worth, but according to reports, it's not been recovered, despite the gig being stopped immediately.
What, no shots fired! I’m shocked. Cent’s gonna lose some cred for not bustin a cap in da guys ass. Source Here


Oh, Behave!

Elle's Alexandra Postman took a swipe at the "American Idol" star. Postman talked about choosing celebrities who create style and trends for Elle's covers. She then added, "We also have run Kelly Clarkson, but only because she sells copies."
Meow! Kelly’s gonna need to see a doctor to make sure those claw marks on her back don’t get infected. Maybe this Alexandra chick should visit Kelly at home. I hear she has a lovely birthday suit she likes to flaunt. Source Here


Clay Aiken Confesses

Pearls of wisdom from the mouth of Clay Aiken (I kid you not) "I'm not cool, you know what I mean? I'm not gonna lie," the good-humored singer told The Associated Press in a recent interview. "I'm not trying to be Justin Timberlake”. No Kidding? A guy who sings covers of Simon and Garfunkels most boring songs and releases a Christmas album (A Christmas Album!!!?) and, and star’s in Broadway musicals isn’t cool. Go figure. It really is a cruel, cruel world. Source Here


Tinnitus Alert!

Oh Joy, this bit of news from the music scene caught my eye. UK band The Cure is planning a slow release of singles in the lead up to the band's thirteenth studio album.
And one can only hope that god sees fit to punish them with a slow painful death for torturing us with their equally painful music. Source Here



Well that all folks, I gotta go, I smell cheap perfume. I thought I closed the window. Oh I did, hmm… strong perfume.

Doc. B. Gone baby, gone