BABY PICTURES SCAM ALERT: McConaughey Cashing In.

Heidi ho folks Doc B here,

I finally got free. Bubbles kidnapped me, I haven’t eaten in two days. I smell, I’m constipated, she broke some fingers but I can still type a bit…slowy…ever so slowly. Anyhow, enough about me, here’s the news.


But first…

“Do not breed. Nothing gives less pleasure than childbearing. Pregnancies are damaging to health, spoil the figure, wither the charms, and it's the cloud of uncertainty forever hanging over these events that darkens a husband's mood.”
“Marquis De Sade”


TA-DA, BABY FATS ALL GONE

Wax on, wax off. It seems it’s that simple to get rid of those little bit of pounds after the baby. Just ask Christina Aguilera as she endears herself to mothers everywhere, "Breast-feeding is my secret workout," she says. "It can take a lot out of you, so the pounds tend to fall off."
Gee I didn’t realize it was that easy,.But seriously, Xtina is looking really good. You can take a peep at the photo to the link. Right now there’s a lot of haters out there, I hear ya, you think she’s a lying bitch, don’tcha. Do I detect just the faintest whiff of jealousy, …I think I do. Don’t be that way, we’re all put together differently, it’s all in the genes, you know. For the minority, losing the weight after a child can sometimes require a bit more discipline, and exercise. But in no way should you let yourself be bothered by the fact that Christina looks so friggin hot already so soon……………You hate me now don’tcha. That’s ok, I understand. Now put down the cake. It can’t love you back, and it won’t respect you in the morning. Source Here


EASY LISTENING

Good news all you fans of the group Slipnkot(I'm talking about you, Jeff fromTappahannock)their new album is almost finished. Frontman Corey Taylor reveals what to expect
"Instead of bitching about what went wrong in my life, I'm bitching about what's wrong in life, PERIOD
He also mentioned that its "very dark".
Oh good, because their last album was very disappointing, I thought it was too upbeat, like Julie Andrews too upbeat. Will there be any changes to their live show you ask, there's still room for cow intestines and throwing up onstage
Oh good, that’s a relief ,I’ll be the tall guy in the first row wearing the raincoat. See you there.
Source Here


BRITNEYS NOT PREGNANT, DAMMIT

Rumours were rampant that Britney was preggars again, (Yes I was crossing my fingers) but some stooge for Brit said
“I want to make completely clear that Britney is not pregnant. There’s not going to be a statement – she’s just not.” ( anymore??!)
Damm, that would of been just what she needed, another kid like ..eh..Rupert and his brother…eh,..Ringo. Whatever. Now comes word that’s shes off with Mel Gibson in Costa Rica (it’s not what you think. Or maybe it is, but this is what we know so farThe Braveheart star and wife Robyn whisked the singer and her dad Jamie to his private Costa Rica estate where they are expected to stay the weekend. Mel, 52, wants Britney to join his therapy group, which involves daily AA and group support meetings — and hopes to introduce her to his drug counselor Warren Boyd who helped Mel, Courtney Love and Whitney Houston kick their habits.
Yikes! With a client list like that, I hope she doesn’t pay this Boyd character up front. I didn’t realize Courtney Love had a problem though. Humph…go figure. Well then I’m convinced, this should put Brit on the right path. Source Here


THE END IS NIGH

Oh no, here we go again folks .Cover your ears, I’m going to blow my whistle, ready? BBBRRRREEEEEEEPPPPPPP!!! BABY SCAM ALERT BBBRRRREEEEEEPPPPPPP!!! BABY SCAM ALERT
Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves
have reportedly hired brand agent Todd Shemarya to rake in the cash from magazines for their celebu-spawn's first baby photos.
I can’t friggin believe this. Is Matt’s kid like some kind of fantasy draft pick or something, this is getting RID-DONK-CULOUS! C’mon folks , join with me, all together now . Let me hear you say this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
(This shit is bananas)
(B-A-N-A-N-A-S)
Again
This shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
(This shit is bananas)
(B-A-N-A-N-A-S)
They must be stopped folks. Do you remember Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused? You do.
Well if he can make enough money selling baby photos, that’s the way he’ll go back to behaving. How many times do I got to rant about it before we take action people. They must be stopped. Source Here


LA VIE EN ROSE

Kanye West made a quick million promoting Casio, but still found something to bitch about the swollen-headed rapper complained about the green room, which was last occupied by designer John Galliano when he threw a Dior show in the restaurant under the 59th Street Bridge. West sniffed, "It smells like a dirty French boudoir."
Hey Kanye, ca sent-tu comme des roses quand vous allez chier, je ne crois pas. And thats all I have to say about that. Source Here


Well that’s all I have strength for today. I gotta go find Bruce to help me out. I think the reason I’m constipated is that Bubbles must have done something to me while I was unconscious. Hmm..come to think of it, I haven’t seen my grandfathers watch, a friend of his from the war went through a lot of trouble to get that watch back to my dad without getting caught while imprisoned in a p.o.w. camp. I hope it didn’t get lost. Now, where are the prunes and Benefibre?

Doc. B. Gone baby, gone.