Paris Hilton's Superpowers; and Hairy Palm's. Tonight on the hump!

Heidi Ho folks Doc be here.

To begin, I have to apologize for last post when it appeared that I was passing out. It was no act, I did pass out . Fortunately I'm feeling better now since my brother Lance sent me a care package, thank God for him. Here's the news.


But first...

There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and have grown up to become bottomless, gaping vessels of terrifying, abject need. Please laugh.”
Dennis Miller


Live Long And Take A Hike, Kid!

Leonard Nimoy`s kid has written an autobiography, in it he mentions meeting one of the greatest thespians of our times,
William Shatner .
"I can't think of a single instance where he remembered who I was when our paths crossed," Leonard Nimoy's son, Adam Nimoy, 51, writes in his memoir, "My Incredibly Wonderful, Miserable Life. Humph...so what? like Bill Shatner can be expected to remember every little snot-nosed kid hes met. What does that prove,..nothing. Hmmm... it seems quite obvious to me that this twerp simply wrote a few paragraphs about William Shatner in his autobiography to help sell a few more books. As a matter of fact it seems awfully curious that this is one of first blurbs that I've read from the book
"so, when I see him, I usually go up to him and shake his hand vigorously and say, 'Mr. Shatner, I'm one of your biggest fans.' . . . Bill will look at me like he thinks he should know me from somewhere but he just can't place the face." No kid he was just stunned. The toilet was flushing properly when he left the house, and yet ,there you are, standing right in front of him. After graciously talking to you, the first thing he did when he got home was call a plumber. A man of William Shatner's stature simply wouldn't let a sanitary problem arise from some pipes that might have leaked from his home. He takes care of his shit Andrew..er..Arnold...Adam! ......................Aw..who cares, let's move on. Source Here


Will Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill! Kill Tarantino's Career!!!

It's been said that Quentin Tarantino plans to remake Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill. The story being of a murderous lesbian stripper
"British newspaper the Mirror says Spears is lined up for the saucy role. (Relax folks Tarantino isn't that stoned.)
And just to raise the gossip bar a notch higher, they even speculate that Spears' "violent character murders a man with her bare hands. She also has sex scenes with another girl - not a big deal for the singer who kissed Madonna on stage." (Which somehow seems like decades ago! )
And a snitch supposedly said: "Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. (Shit, maybe he's mixing mushrooms & coke, and pot & DeKuyper and sniffing diesel fumes again.)
"She [Spears] is delighted. She thinks it could turn her career and her life around. (Or another gem like "Crossroads".)
"It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She's playing the most important character."
Now I want all you fans to hold on before you throw out your yellow tracksuit, Bad MotherF**ker wallet, and Jackie Brown Super- Fro wig. This is only a rumor and I don't think the Weinstein's would give Quentin the amount of rope he needs to cast Britney in the lead role. Pity. My what a lovely train wreck it would be. Source Here


Hairy Palms.

Breast enhancement Barbie has a new show, on the E! network.
" Pammy has roped in unlikely pal Sir Elton John to star in the very first episode of E! entertainment's Pam: Girl On The Loose. ( Hmmm... I wonder how long it took them to come up with that?)
We're told: "Elton arranges it so Pam is part of his Red Piano concert in Vegas. She is seen on five huge screens poledancing (naturally.) in a tiny gold bikini." Aw , God bless her, for continuing to do what she does best with her meagre talent. Appearing partially naked wherever she can. Some people are just blessed without the emotion of shame. Plastic Pammy is one of them. And now she's been around long enough that another generation of adolescent boys have discovered themselves through Pam. They would applaud her but the other hand is busy. Souce Here


The End Is Nigh

I've said it once and I'll say it again, I never thought I would have to say these words, Clay Aiken.. father. (?!) "It's official: Clay Aiken is now a daddy!
The singer, 29, and his producer pal Jaymes Foster welcomed a baby boy Friday morning in Aiken's home state of North Carolina, Aiken's mother, Faye, told a local radio station.
Parker Foster Aiken arrived at 8:08 a.m. - on 8/8/08, no less - and weighed in at 6 pounds, 2 ounces."
Say folks.. do you smell brimstone? No. Maybe it's just me then, I am a little malnourished. Hmmm... Parker Foster Aiken eh! It sounds like a board game, doesn't it? Source Here


MTV's Presidential Bitch- Slap Smack Down

Ever since Paris Hilton met her rocker boyfriend from some damned band whose name I can never remember, she's been pretty quiet on the gossip front, and has been noticeably less visible around town. So I guess all us gossip post pundits can thank John McCain for dragging her back into the spotlight, albeit reluctantly. Paris has been pretty quiet about the McCain ad which used her image along with Britney Spears and Barack Obama, but it appears she's finally fired back. (After hours of endless googling to discover who Barak Obama, and John McCain were.) Paris answered back with a clip that can be viewed at funny or die.com. And she says, “That wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which I guess means I’m running for President. So thanks for the endorsement, white-haired dude,” she states. “I want America to know that I’m like, totally ready to lead.”
After explaining her energy policy, a reference to the McCain ad which lashed out at Obama’s policy, Paris declares, “I’ll see you at the debates b****es!”
Somewhere over at MTV, a light bulb went off above the head of some guy in marketing. "Eureka!" he shouts. "I have it"! he shouts again. Hurriedly, he rushes off to see in his department manager. He tells his department manager he has come up with "the idea of the century". MTV would broadcast a debate featuring Barack Obama and Paris Hilton teamed up to debate against John McCain and Britney Spears. Of course his department manager thinks the idea is brilliant, and is going to run it right up to the top. Think of it folks, a debate like this would cut across every demographic imaginable . The black vote, old rich white guy vote, twenty-somethings who don't know who the candidates are, and don't vote. All they need now is a gay half Mexican, half Asian midget to moderate, and every desirable demographic will be targeted. Humph ... you don't think it could happen to you? Well just wait and see, and mark my words, coming soon to a cable channel near you, MTV presents The Presidential Bitch- Slap Smackdown. Source Here


Just What The World Needs... Paris Hilton In Spandex Tights And A Cape.

Sticking with Paris Hilton, it appears she's involved in a rather unlikely collaboration with a comic genius."The hotel heiress has been working with Stan Lee, who co-created the Spider-Man comic books, to invent a character for a new MTV cartoon. (It ought to prove to be quite a challenge to the Marvel comics artist, they are not used to drawing stick figures)
She said: “Actually, I've created a superhero with Stan Lee, which is based on me, and we're doing a cartoon right now with MTV.” Among her characters powers: looking positively not interested while performing fellatio, impeccable posture when posing for photos, and being famous for no reason whatsoever.
But what would the real Paris Hilton do if she had a superpower... hmmm, let us ponder this. Oh, oh, I know. She would have the power to turn what ever she touches pink. Just kidding, actually she did answer that question."She said: “I’d love to be invisible - that would be fun!" Just get married darling, and have a few kids, that ought to do the trick. Source Here


Bad News

Unfortunately over the weekend a few more bright lights have been snuffed out. Comedian and actor, Bernie Mac, and the Black Moses, soul singer Isaac Hayes both passed away on the weekend. Both brought an enormous amount of talent and will to the stage. They will be missed.


Well that's all there is folks I gotta go. The restaurant across the street just threw some food out. Looks like I am having Chinese tonight.

Doc B Gone baby gone.