If I Had A Million Dollars... I'd Be (Allegedly) Stoned. Dina Loves Her Newly Gay Daughter Lindsay.

Heidi Ho folks Doc B. here.

I've been really busy trying to get on my boss’ good side again, so I've been really busy. So no f***ing around. Here's the news.

But first…


"I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that”
“Groucho Marx”


Who?

This headline caught my eye, "Mellencamp calls himself an ‘ex-rock star’". And this is news? Anyhow I guess it's nice to know he's no longer in denial. I'm not sure he ever technically could have qualified as a rock star, one things for sure, he is a long way from being one now. It happens to everyone, they lose their motivation, their drive, their inspiration. That, and he's been hanging out in Willie Nelson's bus too much. Source Here


Is Lilo Gay? Her Mom Sure Hopes So.

Another day, and another story over at the New York Daily News about Lindsay Lohan, and her alleged lover Samantha Ronson. And why not, everyone's doing it? Over at Life & Style magazine
they get right to the point, and ask "Is Lindsay Gay?" Well that is the million dollar question is it not? (or could be if Lilo plays her cards right.) So, is she or isn't she? Whichever it is, her mother isn't taking any chances and is trying to appear accepting and supportive. At a club in Manhattan, Dina "followed the supposedly Sapphic couple around the Sephora party all night, gushing over Sam. Lindsay finally dodged mommy dearest and camped out behind Samantha in the deejay booth, emerging only to have a quick chat with performer Natasha Bedingfield. Couple or not, Lindsay and Sam couldn't have looked happier and Dina was all smiles, telling partygoers just how cute she thought the pair looked, making sure reporters were never out of earshot". I guess it's better than the alternative, such as going through video trying to determine if legal action is warranted, or a settlement is needed. All because your daughter was we stayed again, called up, out back of a nightclub, in the alley, cleaning some guys pipes. All caught on film. Oh joy. No,... something tells me that Dina would much prefer to see Lilo this way, then on some site where you have to pay $19.95 to see her, in all her trailer trash, skanky glory. Muff diving or no, I'm sure Dina will appear to accept this end milk it for all it's worth, to garner favor in the courts against her husband, and the gay demographic she hopes will watch her pathetic reality show. Humph... Mom of the year, indeed. Source Here


... I'd Be Stoned!

If I had $1 million, I could buy a... brick. Hmmm... but with $50 I can get a half a gram.
It seems Steven Page , a member of the Canadian band The Bare Naked Ladies "was charged with fourth-degree criminal possession of a controlled substance, a felony that carries a maximum penalty of up to 15 years in prison" Holy shit! 15 years... for a fourth degree criminal possession! In Canada a child can carry that much coke on him as long as it isn't separated into little bags with the intention of selling. If the kid can prove it's for personal use, then he gets nothing but a slap on the wrist. If that? Anyways, this arrest comes at a bad time for the group as they have just released a children's album entitled "Snacktime". Songs included on the album are Munchies Munchies Munchies, Zig-Zag All the Way to School, Blow the Man down, Fun with Glue, Whippets, and a whimsical cover of Guns and Roses "Mr. Brownstone". Manager Terry McBride had this to say "We cannot comment because the matter is before the courts, but we are confident our client Steven will be completely exonerated," McBride said in a statement. "Until that time, it's business as usual for the Barenaked Ladies."
And thanks to some special magical Colombian powder, business is good. Source Here


Get Over It (Go Habs Go)

Québec nationalist and separatists (aren't they one and the same?) have been an uproar over Paul McCartney performing a free concert as part of Québec's 400th anniversary celebrations. A group of Québec artists and politicians have gotten together and it sent an open letter that denounces McCartney's free concert, saying that his appearance "misrepresents the spirit of the 400th anniversary celebrations, which commemorate the fight for the survival of the French language in North America". Hmmm... it seems to me having Eric Lapointe, or Roch Voisine, or say Les Cowboys Fringants wouldn't pack in 200,000 people. It's a celebration people, not a political rally. However that's not how some people see it. Artist Luc Archambault wishes that "McCartney would invite Quebec folk legend Gilles Vigneault up on stage Sunday night to sing Gens du Pays, Quebec’s unofficial anthem." Reports dennis9962.wordpress.com
Oh great, I hope you have the words written down, because no one can freaking remember them. Anyways you already had Celine Dion set to perform and (unfortunately) remind everyone that she's from the Belle Province. Isn't the humiliation and embarrassment of Celine enough for one celebration? Throughout all this Sir Paul has remained unflappable."I think it's time to smoke the pipes of peace and to just, you know, put away your hatchet because I think it's a show of friendship," McCartney said.
Damn straight... let it be people, let it be. Source Here and Here


A Rappers Cry For Help... Will It Go Unheard?

This just in, DMX arrested again.
What for this time? Hmmm... let me check. (Pause) this could take awhile. It's a really big file, takes a long time to open.
Ah... here we are D. D, Dina , Dick, DMX, hmmm... it's a big freaking file, let me see weapons charges, drug possession, weapons again, weapons again, drugs again, battery, drugs again, animal cruelty, failure to appear in court, drug possession again, and again, ah... here it is."Rapper DMX was arrested at a Phoenix, Arizona, mall Saturday on suspicion of giving a gave a false name and Social Security number to a hospital to get out of paying for medical expenses". The clearly exasperated County Sheriff Joe Arpaio said "He's back in jail again,"I don't know why judges keep letting this guy out. (Fans, I guess?) Every time he goes in there, he gets out on bond.
"I'm hoping this is the one time he's going to pay the penalty for his offense," he added. My dog Bruce thinks this is just another case of the government coming down on the minorities. Bruce claims the government has long had it in--for people whose names are all in CAPITAL letters, such as DMX. I on the other hand do not subscribe to this conspiracy theory. No, it's not a conspiracy that DMX lands in trouble all the time, it's a cry for help. It's obvious DMX is just reaching out... the only way he knows how. It's not the penal system and punishment that will help change this man's life. He's simply... misunderstood, is all. It's most likely he was lacking a father figure while growing up, possibly the child of single mother, prison won't make this man better. Where is your compassion Sheriff Arpaio? Can't you see DMX is hurting, he's reaching out. Don't slap his hand,... take it, and guide him. Make him a better person with your understanding and kindness, won't you?
Together we can make the world a better place, if you will just take take the time and be a dad to DMX, you can make the world a better place. The balls in your court Sheriff Arpaio. What are you going to do? Source Here


Sarah Jessica Is Filled With Rage And Anger.

I found what Sarah Jessica Parker said to Grazia magazine most amusing, "After Maxim.com dubbed Sarah Jessica Parker the “Unsexiest Woman Alive,” the actress told Grazia magazine she found the label “so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger.” Hmmm... if she would have been in the magazines feature on Women with Bags on Their Heads, maybe she'd have a point. No the people who named her the Un-Sexiest Woman Alive weren’t feeling rage or anger, although they were being brutally honest about a woman who bears a remarkable resemblance to a very unattractive eunuch. Aren't you the one feeling filled up with rage and anger Sarah, hmmm...? And by the way, why don't you get a mole to chew that thing on the side of your face, it's really offputting. Source Here


Well that's it that's all folks. I gotta go do some ironing. Not mine, my bosses. Like I said, trying to get on his good side again.

Doc B. Gone baby gone