Celebrity Gossip News Extravaganza. Tonight, on the Hump.

Heidi-Ho folks Doc B here.

I'm exhausted I've been going around doing all kinds of errands for my boss. Doing his laundry, standing in line for him at the DMV. Even pleasuring his wife for him to keep her off his back, while he romps in the hay with his young latin lover. I think he stuffs his trousers, but who am i to judge. I think I need to find a new line of work . Anyhow here's the news.

But first…

“I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet”
“Sam Kinison”


Cat fight! Everyone look away now.

I certainly got a giggle out of Omarosa's appearance on The Wendy Williams Show Monday. If you missed it, it seems things got a little heated (I could have used the word catty, but some people might have been offended: hint; they have no penis.) Omarosa was supposed to be there to promote her book, but in the great tradition of Monty Python, she just wanted an argument. Williams who has been on radio for a long time but is new to TV must have been coached by her producers to make sure do get a camera shot of the cover of the book, which she did. Most awkwardly. Omarosa reacted like a fat kid (pardon me, what's the term? Weight challenged? Obese? Hormonally different? Jelly donut junkies? F**k it!), like a fat kid when you steal his fries. So she did what any fat kid would, she yanked it back.... the following moments were...awkward.
The tussle gave way to Omarosa attacking Williams’ appearance, asking her whether she had had a nose job and suggesting she shouldn’t wear wigs. During the heated exchange, Williams called Omarosa a “typical angry black woman” and advised Omarosa that cosmetic injections could fix her wrinkles. Ooh ooh.. cat fight! (It's appropriate, and dammit, it's the truth.) Of course the clip of this interview has gone completely viral fad. One would think it would be good for ratings, wouldn't it? Now far be it from me to suggest that this was planned. Which I don't. However I think the show's producers were definitely hoping for some sparks, don't you? Listen to what Wendy said after the interview. She called Omarosa “a delusional, D-list, pathetic woman.” Hmmm... isn't that the pot calling the kettle black huh! So if I wanted catch up on what D-listers are doing these days I guess I know what show to tune into. I wonder what Charo and Marc Lawrence are up to? Guess I'll have to tune in to find out. Source Here


Live to tell.

Well it's nice to know someone is happy. No it's not the producers of the Wendy Williams show. It's Christopher Ciccone, Madonna's brother, who is having as much fun as a Navy submarine sailor on shore leave with a Thai hooker. While talking to the New York Observer he let slip out a hint of satisfaction and triumph over his sister's reaction to the book. "Christopher claims Madonna sent him an e-mail simply stating, “Call me,” when she got wind of the unauthorized biography. Deciding not to engage her (“I don’t respond to commands anymore”), he enjoyed Madonna’s rare, powerless position instead." Hmmm... it's almost as if he enjoys watching her squirm, doesn't it folks? “I will admit to a guilty pleasure in watching her squirm,” the younger Ciccone confessed. Hmmm... it's nice to see that he's not bitter about it. Source Here


What's in a name?

Ill it's a shame that more people don't vote in the states. Given the incredible freedom and choice, and levels of governments that represent them . Something tells me however, that in the next election in the city of San Francisco, there will be a record turnout. Some activists have come up with a rather ingenious plan to honor to current sitting duck president (no, not a lynching.) in the next election."Activists in San Francisco have secured sufficient support to put on the November election ballot an initiative to rename a local sewage plant in “honour” of President George W Bush.
The Bush critics succeeded in collecting more than 12,000 signatures for renaming the sewerage plant, and an election committee confirmed it, the San Francisco Chronicle said today." What a novel idea, bravo to them, my hats off. And I'm almost certain that this will come to pass in the next election come November. San Francisco voted to support an initiative to impeach both Bush and Vice President Cheney in 2006. 58% of San Franciscans voted to give Bush and Cheney a tricky Dick special, so they'll no doubt be geared up to honor Bush properly. Hmmm... this initiative could lead to a more appropriate and proper use of presidents names. Such as, the William Jefferson Clinton National Sperm Bank of America. The George H. Bush Choke N Puke Sushi Steakhouse . The Richard Nixon Audio and Video Surveillance Museum. The Gerald Ford School of Slapstick Comedy. Ronald Reagan's Irish Pub, the Lyndon B. Johnson Landfill, the possibilities are endless.Ah Yes, I'll be keeping my eye on San Francisco in the next election. Source Here


Roughriders rejoice! The DMX pleads not guilty.

Rapper DMX pleaded not guilty to felony charges of theft and identity theft. "Authorities allege the 37-year-old rapper gave the name "Troy Jones" and an incorrect Social Security number to a Scottsdale hospital in April to avoid paying $7,500 in medical expenses."You'll recall the DMX has been arrested for many a crime, but has done little time. So it comes as no surprise that he seemed in good spirits, and was optimistic outside the courtroom after his plea.," Hmmm... catchy, it's a good start. Let me see, "If you ever fall down, get back up." If you say you're Troy Jones, don't pick up the phone. Say what.! If you have to cough up a plea, say it wasn't me. If you ever spend time in Scottsdale, be prepared for the man to send you to jail. Say what! if you ever fall down, get back up, because you'll get all dirty and maybe catch a stomach cold. Whoops... that last line sounds like something my mom used to tell me. Let's move on shall we. Source Here


Headlines That Matter!

"Publicist runs out on Mills: Heather is too hot-headed to handle, aide claims".
Really, it just goes to show you. You never can tell about some people. Source Here


"Britney Spears rages at those closest to her in new songs".

Yeah, like her lawyer, her therapist, her bartender.My god, you should hear what she calls her car insurance broker. Oohh..the mouth on that girl. It's disgraceful. Why if she's not careful they may take her kids away from her. Oh yeah,...she wasn't..and they did. My bad. Source Here


"Spears and Federline settle custody case".

Apples or oranges, either way, the kids are screwed. Source Here


"Jimmy Kimmel puts Ed McMahon back to work".

Ed said he has no problem cleaning Jimmy's toilet. Or serving him and his posse drinks and hors d'oeuvres. He even trims Jimmy's toenails and grooms his back hair. But he still has his pride, and refuses to sit and pretend to laugh at Jimmy's lame jokes. Johnny Carson he . ain't. Hell, he ain't no Arsenio either. Source Here


"Police: Paparazzi, guards, fight at Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's chateau”

Boys, boys, wait your turn. I'm sure she'll get around to adopting everyone eventually. Source Here

"Omarosa doesn't regret spat with TV host".

Her only regret ? Not actually having spat on her. Source Here


"‘Lost’ creators know how series will end".

Here's a hint. Patrick Duffy and Victoria principal are said to be involved. Source Here


"Hollywood writers protest ‘American Idol’".

Humph... don't you think it should be the songwriters doing the protesting? Source Here


"Lohan makes 'girlfriend' joke about Ronson"

Said Lindsey to a friend; I' ve got to be careful not to drink too much with the ole ball n chain hanging around. She's been on the rag lately. Source Here


From Hero to zero (tough on stains)

If you asked me, Hayden Panettiere sounds awfully spoiled. Just look hear what she says to OK magazine. “I still want a mom and dad to take care of me and do my laundry, ’cause I can’t do it. No, I’m kidding. I can do laundry!” I just refuse to do it. Besides what else do they have to do, it's not like they have hundreds of thousands of people screaming at them at Comic Com now do they? And if they say no, I'll just get my assistant to do it. But I'd rather not bother her, she has a hard enough time getting me my Iced Bombay Tea when I want it. It would take her days to just do my blouses, my mom only works 40 hours a week so she has lots of time.


Well that's all folks I gotta go. It seems my boss at a charity auction agreed to pose nude for an art class. So guess what I have to do tonight posing as him? I hope the room is not too cold. I is sometimes suffer from shrinkage. Don't giggle girls, it's a real problem. Seven out of 10 men suffer from it and it causes deep emotional scarring. Most of these men are under severe peer pressure and are too embarrassed to come forward to discuss their issues with their issues and low self-esteem. A casually tossed acerbic one-liner comparing a man's penis, to that of a eight-year-old nephew can cause severe permanent damage to a man’s psyche and his personal well-being. So don't mock us ladies, it's a real problem, it's serious and can ultimately lead to fatality. Those penis enlargement products are really dangerous, they rank 374th on the top 500 list of ways men die. So keep your thermostat set at room temperature and watch out for drafts, and for god’s sake, keep your windows closed.

Doc B Gone baby gone.