Serious Demons Haunt Chris Martin / Ummm... Chocolate

Heidi Ho folks Doc B. here,

Bruce found Bubbles alright, on the Internet. She's looking for mercenaries. Preferably ones who have fought the great simian beast of the Congo. This doesn't look good...
It's like she's putting together a unit to take on Antonio. Aw man! And I let the insurance slide on the house. Now what the hell do I do. Anyhow here's the news


But First…

“What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.”
“Dennis Miller”


She's Ovulating And She's Ready To Work

Somewhere in a hot and humid discotheque, a lightbulb just illuminated above Lindsay Lohan's head. It seems for some people, especially Mini Driver, getting knocked up was good for business. She's been hired to co-star with Uma Thurman in a movie to be called "Motherhood". It's probably some low budget movie that can even afford pillows as a prop. It seems like they would cast anybody as long as they were pregnant, to save a dime. So guys, keep your eyes peeled for Lilo , and be ready to score, because you know she needs to work and if getting preggers lands her job, then she's game. I've no doubt she'll approach it with the same reckless abandon as she does with everything else. She's a trooper that one. Source Here


Bunch Of Freeloading Moochers

I tell ya, Mariah Carey ain't no dummy. "Mariah's assistant, Gina, sent out over 100 e-mails to her wealthy friends letting them know that she's registered at Bergdorf Goodman if they want to buy her a present. It's odd because she's not even having a big wedding party or anything. Odd! What's so on odd that? I think she's pretty wise to skip the party and the reception and everything and just move on to the good stuff, the presents. Who needs a bunch of freeloading moochers, relatives you're embarrassed to admit your related to, her friends that are only there to try and land a husband, and his friends that are only there to get laid. These people should consider themselves lucky that she even e-mailed them, that she acknowledged their presence on this planet. If somehow you didn't receive your e-mail from Mariah she's registered at Bergdorf Goodman. I hear she needs some fine china. Source Here


Ummm... Chocolate

Do you remember that Hugh Hefner had a birthday a little while back. And that Pamela Anderson showed up. And she brought him his cake... sans wardrobe. (I got a lime green tie for my birthday.) Well now some more little details have come out, and I only have one question to put to you. Is Hugh Hefner one lucky son of a bitch or what? No it's not luck. It's a case of another genius who had the foresight and the drive, to make sure all men can see pretty blonde buxom babes boobies ! (boobies = genius).
The Hef has three live-in lovers, who love, respect, admire, lust after, and owe him. Oh how they owe him, for everything they've got. So it's only natural that they would give the Hef the best present they could think of, a piece of them. One of his girlfriends, Kendra Wilkinson (the smart one) gave him chocolate molded from her ass.She said: "We gave him chocolate body parts. We moulded our body parts and gave it to him, and he ate them all, I bet he did! I bet he did. I like to get me some chocolate. Damn I wish I had chocolate. Anyhow Kendra went on to illuminate the process behind it all.
"I moulded my a**, so I could call it 'chocolate starfish'. It was white chocolate, and I put a dark chocolate little thing right in the middle." What is this! German porn! Anyhow-I think I'll pass on the dark chocolate and just have the white chocolate thank you very much. Hey, what's the red Jell-O symbolize anyways. Never mind. I don't care, I'll have some anyways. There's always room for Jell-O. Source Here


Where Parallel Universes Meet

You know, once was funny, but now this is no joke people. He must be stopped. Who you ask? Well I'll tell you who, Clay Aiken that's who. “Clay and Jaymes are committed to having at least two children,” the insider says.". Humph... all he committed to, was a shot a sperm in a jar. You know I've always been a firm believer in that god has a plan. However, the fact that Clay will be a father has made me stop to pause. Somehow I don't think this was in his plans. This is like some kind of freak accident where time and parallel universes meet. And somehow, in this universe , Clay Aiken is fathering children, clearly in violation of God's plans. How do we go back to our universe, I mean come on, if God was on Clays side, wouldn't he have won Idol. I say if he's going to have children, he should be forced to do it the old-fashioned way. Maybe the thought of that will put him off these crazy ideas. We can only hope (and pray God's plan includes a lightning bolt) someone jolts some sense into him. Source Here


Demons Haunt Chris Martin

I know Chris Martin of the band Coldplay has a new album out and he has to promote it, but I'm beginning to think he should just shut up. It seems with each passing day he gets a little flakier, if that's even possible. The NY Post writes CHRIS Martin has a drug habit of sorts. "My problem is that I often take a sleeping pill in order to go to sleep, but then I get excited about a song, so I go and play music, and then it kind of kicks in halfway through,". Actually I have to thank Chris here. Now I know why all the songs seem to start off well enough but then wander on to absolutely nowhere. Still he does seem to just casually refer to a bad little habit he's developed, like it's amusing. Hmmm... I think I'd shut up now Chris. But no, he doesn't. He elaborates, telling Rolling Stone "I have a little corner where nobody can hear me in the middle of the night, and that's where I spend most of the nighttimes. I wake up the next morning and find these strange notes to myself . ."... hmm… I told him to shut up! You read me right folks. I told him. How pathetic, crouched down in the corner of a room in the middle of the night, sounds like someone battling some serious demons my friend. You need help. I mean, come on Chris, do I need to organize an Intervention here! Wake up man! ... Well what do you have two say for yourself.?. " I'm a little bit ashamed about it." Admits Chris. Humph, good man! Admitting you have a problem is the first step. Now shut up, go into damage control, and get into rehab. It's not an amusing story for an interview, it's a bleak portrait of a lonely man with a problem. Get help. Source Here


Well that's all there is folks I gotta go now, I got a get a message to Antonio and warn him of Bubbles plan.

Doc B. Gone baby gone