Breaking News: Britney Doesn’t Follow Candidates Campaign.(Big Wow!)/Celebrity Blog 101( Not So Special)

Heidi Ho folks Doc B.here.

I’m starting to get a little hungry… but my cupboards are almost completely bare. What do you make with beef broth and marshmallows? Hmmm… I need some income, and quick. Bruce’s operation is coming up soon and I need to pay for it dammit. I need to make some money quick. Say… this ad may be helpful. While I check this out, here’s the news.

But first…

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.”
“Groucho Marx”


$14 Million! Where’s The Sunblock?

Well folks, it's official, the whole world has gone completely off it's nut! Huh, what's that? Overreacting! Too harsh-- you say. Well, we'll just have too agree to disagree, won't we.
"People magazine has nabbed exclusive rights to perhaps the most-sought after cover babies of all time: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's new twins". And what's the dollar figure on that? $14 million! Are you f***ing serious? $14 million! For baby photos. $14 million. Are these babies made of f***ing gold? Do they shit diamonds out there ass? Can the lower my cholesterol? Or enhance my erection? No.? Then how come $14 million dammit? Are you nuts? They're just the bastard offspring of a couple movie actors. This has gotten way out of hand. This has the possibility of shifting the earth’s axis, shifting the balance of power in Hollywood. Actors are now earning more from the sale of baby photos than they are from movie roles. Doesn’t anyone else but me see how dangerous this is? They act, to gain celebrity, which earns them wealth and fame.They are actors! They are paid to act, to entertain us! Publications like People, and OK, and In Touch Weekly are raising their celebrity status up into aristocracy. They’re just f**king actors! Pay them to act. Nothing else! Jeezz…I need an aspirin. I guess there’s no stopping it. Its progress they say. I guess it is-- what it is…………………$14 million… wow. Expect the sun the explode any day now. Source Here


Quick Hits Headlines

“Verne Troyer sues ex-girlfriend for $20 million”... she apparently coerced him to star in Mike Myers “The Love Guru”. Hmmm... that film was a real turkey, maybe he should ask for more. Source Here

“Abba makes history at number one”... their greatest hits has gone number one in the UK. I told you we should have taken them out when we had the chance... but noooo. You said it was immoral. Now it's too late, we've missed our chance dammit! Source Here

“Rocker Mellencamp happy to be ‘an old man’... like he has any choice in the matter.Source Here

“Here comes the teen bride: Jamie Lynn to wed”... it was either that or put up with her mom hanging around all the time, crimping her style. Source Here



Lauren says this may be her last ‘Hills’ season... hmmm... it doesn't bother me, however it may bother that strange looking gentleman in the plaid shirt and sporting a trucker hat. He was always at autograph sessions getting her to sign his hanker- chiefs, To My Dearest Bobby Jo. I wonder she remembers him, average looking, large, unassuming, and smells like processed meat. He seemed like a big fan. That large , unassuming, plaid shirt wearing, cold meat eating, trucker hat gentlemen, he might be bothered. He may be downright pissed. Hmmm... stay out of isolated places Lauren, and let someone else open your mail. Come to think of it, changing up your routine might be a good idea as well. You never can be too careful, you know. Source Here


Politics and celebrity don’t mix, and gays and politics as well.. come to think of it

This week has been notable for the calling out of celebs by members of our law enforcement and government.
Beginning with the boys in blue, LAPD chief William Bratton took a backhanded swipe at Britney in the press the other day. It seems in Lala land a new task force has been created to deal specifically with paparazzi. Some of the whiny celebrities that testified before the new task force included John Mayer, Eric Roberts and Milo Ventimiglia. Here's what Mayer said, clearly believing the world revolves only around him."Wearing jeans and a rumpled dress shirt, the singer invited law enforcement officials to do a ride-along with him to experience the pursuits firsthand - and he suggested that officials regulate paparazzi with special license plates marked with a big "P." Hmmm... yes, excellent idea. And while you're at it, your car should be marked with a special license plate as well. It should read B. P.,.. for Big Pussy. However chief Bratton had a more common sense approach to the problem. He doesn't believe creating a new task force and spending taxpayers money will solve the problem. No, he targets the evil doers themselves."If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore, thank God, and evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue," Bratton said.
"If the ones that attract the paparazzi behave in the first place, like we expect of anybody, that solves about 90% of the problem. The rest we can deal with," he said. Yeah... you said if chief, put some clothes on that basket case Britney, newly gay Lilo has practically gone underground, and god's taking care of Paris. Problem solved chief. Ah... cream rises to the top.

Wellll... of course it didn't take long for one of the girls to object. Lindsay Lohan and her girlfriend Samantha Ronson were at the Los Angeles airport to catch a flight when TMZ.asked them to comment. Lilo said,"Police chiefs shouldn't get involved in everyone else's business when it comes to their personal life. It's inappropriate," it's very rude as well, people will think I have become boring. Not to be outdone, chief Bratton called a press conference to clarify (not really) what he meant. "When asked about the Lohan remark — which followed months of tabloid speculation that Lohan and Ronson, a DJ, are dating — Bratton said his sister is gay and he is a proponent of gay rights". (That's clear,... as clear as the Beijing skyline). A follow-up question asked chief Bratton, that if his sisters gay, does that make him a homosexual? There was a swift no comment from chief Bratton. I didn't catch the reporters name who asked the question, but he did sound a lot like that that fat kid on South Park. Hmmm... (?!)
Well that takes care the boys in blue. On the government side, an ad by John McCain has caused a little stir. It seems Kathy Hilton was none too happy to see her daughter's name mentioned in the ad."The campaign ad which features images of Hilton's famous daughter, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Barack Obama with a voiceover that says, "He's the biggest celebrity in the world. But is he ready to lead?" Kathy and her husband made a donation to McCain's campaign so I guess she has a reason to gripe. Her daughter Paris on the other hand is taking it all in stride. She chose to let her publicist release a statement which read. "Miss Hilton was neither asked, nor did she give permission, for the use of her likeness in the ad, and has no further comment." Hmmm... what? She didn't say, that's hot? Frankly I find that hard to believe.
Are you sure maybe you should double-check that .I’m sure she said, that’s hot.
And then we have Britney. What is Britney's response to being used in John McCain's ad? Not much really.“She visits gossip sites on the Internet,” says a source close to Spears. “She’s not exactly glued to campaign news. She’s unfazed by this. If not for Googling her own name she probably wouldn't have noticed.”
No shit, she's not glued to the campaign news. Go figure. Well I guess it's only to be expected. When a person has been all doped on Zantac, morphine and Thorazine, they generally have problems doing the most rudimentary task. Even typing one's own name becomes a chore through all the thick and cloudy haze of the drugs. Probably best not to expect too much from her when she's like this. Source Here,
Here and Here


And Finally.

I want to wish Christina Applegate all the best in her fight against breast cancer. Reports suggest they caught it early, thank god. Get well Christina.
Source Here ex.html

Well that’s all folks, I gotta go My supper is almost ready. Olives boiled in beef broth…yum. For dessert, marshmallows and……….(SOB). My only salvation lies in this internet ad.

Doc B. Gone baby gone