Naomi Watts best friend spills the can of worms.

Hey Ho

Mary-Ann, drug mule?

Gilligan’s Island castaway Mary-Ann was stopped by police while driving her car, and was busted by them when some pot was found in her vehicle. Sweet little Mary-Ann, a pothead! "Well Professor, try these muffins, I use a secret ingredient, you’ll love it, offers Mary-Ann". No wonder the castaways of the SS Minnow never got off that freakin island. You take a reefer mad pony tailed nutbar pumping you with drugs, flirting with ya, all her plan to divert attention away from what really caused the shipwreck. All that freakin GANJA she stored in the hull of the boat. It’s all becoming much clearer now, the truth will surface one day. I’m sure of it.
From the Associated Press.


The Vatican drops the hammer

The Vatican, in its great wisdom has seen fit to issue a few more “Deadly sin” for some of us to commit I guess 7 ain’t enoff. Wonder how this affects our star’s. Let’s look at a few shall we.


Abortion = Not so bad, celebs have taken to pregnancy and having babies like a fat man takes a interest in donuts. A few souls might be spared.

Polluting the environment: Hey everybody’s trying real hard on this right. They drive hybrid cars to the Oscars right. They fly to faraway to perform concerts to raise awareness right. They recycle old scripts, old TV shows, old faces, and boobs and stuff don’t they. They do enough alright. Come on now. OK let’s move on. What else was there, next.

“Accumulation of wealth” = Oh shit!
Next, lets move on people.

“The taking of, or dealing of drugs”
Shit, shit, shit. OK, wait, this doesn’t apply to everyone. There’s eh… Tom Hank’s, Dennis Hopper um… there’s a lot OK, next.

Paedophilia: Not touching that one. Nope. You know what? These are really more like guidelines than hard fast doctrine ya know.

Source from London times + AAP



EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW


I conducted an exclusive interview with Naomi Watts best friend from high school to talk about her next film.

Doc B.: Hi Daniel, thanks for this.

Daniel: No worries mate.

Doc B.: Now I know you’re favourite beer is Victoria’s Bitter, you’re favourite song is “the land down under”, favourite film is “Mad Max”, but what is you’re favourite Naomi movie.

Daniel: Who?

Doc B.: Naomi Watts

Daniel: Crikey…(pause) “Eastern Promises”

Doc B.: Great! So what’s Naomi really like huh?

Daniel: Dunno.

Doc B.: Come on.

Daniel: I don’t know er mate.

Doc B.: You’re from Australia right?

Daniel: Yup.

Doc B.: But you don’t know Naomi Watts?

Daniel: Nah, don’t

Doc B.: Humph, Ok then. So Daniel, tell me what it was like having Hugh Jackman as your uncle.

Daniel: hmmm, he’s not my uncle.

Doc B.: He’s not? You sure?

Daniel: Positive mate.

Doc B.: Nicole Kidman,

Daniel: Nope.

Doc B.: Well, Mel Gibson then, your related right?

Daniel: No mate. Never met him.

Doc B.: Ok, well, Ok then, thanks Daniel, and hey, put a shit on the Barbie for me Ok.

Daniel: It’s shrimp.

Doc B.: Whatever bye.

Man, those sneaky, lying Aussie bastards, you can never get a scoop out of them. But Daniel, tell me how you got that cut on your lip then eh. Don’t know Naomi my foot.

Gotta go scrape the wax out of my chimps ears.

Toodle’loo

Doc B.