Big celeb week-end smash up

Päivää my patients

X-File # 29

British singer Robbie Williams say’s he’s been visited 3 times by U.F.O.’s and is considering becoming a ufologist and start chasing after little green men. Geez luweeze, this guy’s career must really be in the toilet. (http://mirror.co.uk/)

Best song ever

This in from the Brisbane Times, Sunday is Big Gay Day, said to be a riot of colour, music and dancing. Martha Walsh of the weather girls is set to perform. Her hits include “Everybody Dance now” and “It’s raining men”. Woo Hoo! No word yet on whether Homer Simpson will attend.

Free Tibet Now.

Icelandic singer Bjork shouted “Tibet” at a performance in Shanghai and has hurt some feelings says China’s Culture Ministry (From A.P.) Hmmm. And still no word yet from the World Wildlife Fund on how swan’s were traumatized by the dress she wore to the Oscar’s years ago. Huh, I smell a cover-up.

Tailer Made?

Kelly Rowland from “Destiny’s Child” goes from an A cup to a B cup and explains it this way. “There was one really hot house of Dereon top – I just wanted to fill that out” Man, what if her glasses don’t fit? Nose enlargement, ear-plants, shrink her head. Sheesh!

T.V.s the internet that compels you.

This from Danny Noriega, recently from American Idol. “We all try and stay away from the internet but it’s hard to avoid when you turn the T.V. on in the morning.” Hey, it’s true, why just last week I dislocated my thumb on the power button from the T.V. remote.

Octopus Garden

Is it just me, or doe’s this movie 10 000 B.C. look like a bigger budgeted remake of Ringo Starr’s goofy movie Caveman. Watch where you step boy’s it ain’t mud.

Don’t Stop B…….

There’s a rumor going around that there will be a Soprano’s movie. That should please Steve Perry of Journey. He’s been royally pissed since they never did finish the last verse from the song they borrowed.


Now you see it

Jennifer Lopez doesn’t want to be called J.Lo anymore, reports http://www.tmz.com/. That’s funny, I thought she was retired. O.K no problem Jen-Then.


Now you don’t

N.B.C. may be considering Kathie Lee Gifford for the “Today Show”. Also, millions of Americans are considering leaving for work earlier, Coincidence?


Pleasure thyself

I found this in “the village voice”. Sex-ed film who’s working title is “Penny Flames Expert guide to handjobs for men and women”. Sounds great. Now where do I get a guide to convince my wife of this. (“But honey, its educational”) Yeah right. Still, it might be handy.

Trollgasm

Also from “the village voice”. “Whorelore” are porn films based on the online role playing game “World of Warcraft” the films feature performers dressed up as elves, trolls and other fantasy creatures doing the “nasty dance”. Bi-species sex, folks! Doggy-styling trolls, elf ear fellatio. Yuck! I don’t want to imagine who’s watching this stuff. Personally. I’m holding out for “Sonic the Hedgehog Sucks Seattle” DVD.

Blueballs

The “N.Y.Daily News” reports that Justin Timberlake is set to exec produce new N.B.C. show based on Peruvian Comedy “my problem with women”…? Yeah cause the first person I think of that has trouble getting a date is Mr. Sexyback. (Make you just want to puke doesn’t it.)

A bun in the oven smells good

Lisa Marie Presley announces pregnancy after London’s “The Daily Mail” asks “Like father like daughter? Bloated Lisa Marie is now the double of dad, Elvis” No announcements yet from Rosie O’Donnel, Kirstie Alley, or Monique that they are expecting. I’ll just hold my breath then.

Oprah’s oops

And finally, I see that Oprah (Empress of all things media) has backed another phony author. The woman who claimed to be a bi-racial gang-banger turned out to be a San Fernando Valley girl. named Margaret Seltzer. Seltzer answered “Well duh, like its my like, name you know. Totally.” Don’t know how the background check didn’t sniff this one out. Weird.

Gotta go practice my handjob technique now,

Sayonara. Doc. B.